. @1stcitizenkane It's been said that no one with an IQ over 100 is sober after 6pm. I believe this to be a sobering indictment of society.

If you're a pro & aren't hated by half the surfing population like @bobby805 @whoisjob or even @daynolds then you aren't doing it right.

#VolcomPro is proving what everyone knew BEFORE the contest started: @whoisjob and John John are the best at Pipe.

The evolution of humanity cannot progress if anyone has to come out of any closet. Unless that closet is full of corpses, like mine. *ahem*

I don't mind losing followers because it means they're reading my Tweets.

I think @whoisjob needs a truck that big in case he needs to pick up Dave Wassel's balls and give them a lift.

I would like used tampon strings Ms. @qu4rtkn33 - not the actual tampon. I'm not a creep.

@whoisjob is pretty good at that surfing thang.

Golden tip of the year: If you want to be a Professional Surfer, read "The Tao of Jeet Kune Do" by Bruce Lee. And fire all your coaches.

My wife loves anal. She just doesn't like how much I pay hookers for it.

In summary, my name is Rottmouth and I’m an alcoholic and addict. And I choose life. And by life I mean anarchy.

Fear convoluted your reason and in its place you turn to anyone or thing that promises order. Because Surfing demands order. Or does it?

. @mattburns81 @iammichelek @silkfartbox Sorry. Silk Fart Box wins best Twitter handle of all time and foreverest. Game over.

#FF @jhliebenberg @racheliswinning @grantl77 @badinskas @jackloydgrisham @tim_hawken @tmorello @simonsam @antiprosports @another_loobs

. @floresjeremy Burn th fucking rule book! @whoisjob That's bush league shit right there.

Keep trying to pull off my mask or discover some hidden agenda you villainous sentinels of Industry... your waste of oxygen feeds the trees.

So when is New Zealand going to send the All Blacks over to Huntington Beach to beat the shit out of any whitey sporting a "tribal" tattoo?

If you read anything besides my ode to Surf Website Editors http://t.co/8Yrl6xYO - please read this by @robdelaney http://t.co/OnNilaqs

I heart @jonaspolsky

So awesome on so many levels... RT "@shaunthorn: @rottmouth @demonscreams You guys will have a field day with this one http://t.co/3222jOdk"