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Sorry boss, can't come in today. Finger went through the TP right into my stink hole so I'll be dealing with that all day
“@thenardvark: @rudiger79 *blows air out of nose*” more than happy to return the favor
“@thenardvark: If Twitter had a laugh track . . . " you just won Twitter with this one!
“@reverendebw: Just because you're better than me, doesn't mean I'm lazy.....” Just because I dress like this, doesn't mean I'm a communist
@habnar I just did an upper decker in the guys washroom! Unfortunately, theres no tank behind the toilet and it's a huge mess in there
@thechloelamb I still laugh about your feminist pirate tweet last week. Funniest thing I've ever read on this time wasting spool of shit
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