@RyanJJohn's (Ryan Mick-D) most faved Tweets...
I don't like to toot my own horn, but I'm so awesome, even my enemies list me as an emergency contact.
Ok ok.. How about this: Man, I heard that new iPad is.. What? Toyota jokes? Really? Son of a bitch why can I never catch up with you people!
Look, I'm sorry, I wish I could be funny at 140 characters, but I can't. I need more of a buildup. I'm the female orgasm of Twitter comedy.
The guy who's internet I rip off is having router problems.. I'm really close to calling him and telling him how to fix it.
Somewhere along the line I started to care about how many stars I got. I don't seem to get many, so I don't think I want to care anymore.
My wife asked me which I would choose if it was between her and Twitter. I said her, of course! She totally bought it.
Man my eyes are killing me after staring at this computer screen all day.
Time to go home and play Mass Effect 2 for 6 hours straight.
Time to go home and play Mass Effect 2 for 6 hours straight.
Monday's not bad. Tuesday's the bitch. It sneaks up on you while you're bitching about Monday. Now tomorrow will suck too. You're welcome.
Hey what's the name of that chick who has that new song with Ludacris? She sounds hot! What? Justin what? .... Shit.
I made a Your Mom joke once. It was ok at first, but afterwards it just left me full of humiliated confusion.
Just like banging your mom.
Just like banging your mom.
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Weed smokers, me & my heroin addict friends think it's cute how you never got past a drug whose purpose is to get you to do harder drugs.
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Me: You're supposed to laugh at my jokes. Her: That wasn't in the vows. Me: When we renew them that's going in. Her: Oh, we're not renewing.
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Do you want to be our next IT Professional?!? Job requirements include: Calling other IT companies when there is a problem. And.. That's it!
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So Farmville has more users than Twitter? Well I've played Farmville, and I wouldn't want any of those idiots following me.
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My wife HATES Snuggies. This information would have been invaluable 10 minutes ago, before she opened the Snuggie I got her for Christmas.
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So Venezuela, mostly Catholic, just got hit with an earthquake too? It's like the Voodoo Gods are all like, "WHAT NOW CHRISTIAN GOD??"
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