@RyanMoffitt's (Ryan Moffitt) most faved Tweets...
Spent the weekend in Flaming Gorge. Just because I know you'll all ask, Flaming Gorge is not some type of weird STD. Look at a map.
12
My door key isn't working at my parents house anymore. Either the cold has frozen the lock or this is their way of telling me I'm adopted.
8
I love brushing my baby's 4 teeth and then putting her to bed. I just hope she'll return the favor when I'm an old man.
7
Sign I'm still madly in love. My wife fed me chocolate cake while I was driving and I was just as attracted to my wife as I was to the cake
7
I know my wife is going to get me sick. I wish I could get it over with. I feel like I'm tied to the tracks waiting for the train to come.
5
Wife wants me to go w/ the fam to my Nephews soccer game. The kid sucker punches people in the balls. And she wonders why I'm hesitant
5
People are surprised we don't have any gifts under our Christmas tree until they see everything our baby has thrown down the stairs.
4
Cutting my fingernails so when the impulse to tear my eyes out overwhelms me tonight I won't leave as much permanent scaring.
4
The risk of electrocution may be worth it to remove that device on our AC to "limit" usage during peak times. I hate the power company.
4
A billboard said, "hit a pedestrian, change your lives." doesn't that sound strangely encouraging?
4
Mother, may I sleep with danger? is on Lifetime right now. I just thought everyone would want to know.
4
http://twitpic.com/unrb8 - I'm ready for tonight's ugly sweater party. This year I'm going to win!
3
The watercooler in our office tastes like the recycled tears of middle management. I think they want us to remember our place
3
I love my Blackberry but I'm looking at getting the Google Droid. I insist its not cheating until they invent a phone that can love me back.
3
I tear up when I look at my child & she reminds me so much of myself. Right now she's running around naked with a bag of chips. So Proud.
3
My wife and I both wanted a little snack. She made herself some soup and she brought me a 3 pound bag of peanut M&Ms. She really gets me.
3
My 4 year old niece told me to "grow up already" when we were playing Barbies. See if I ever bring my Barbies to her house again.
3
Was just told by a senior citizen that they envy my regularity. In the real world I'm a loser but in an old folks home, I'm a god.
3
My nipple hair is nearly long enough to braid but I'm starting to develop bald spots on my head. Life is so cruel.
3
Tip: To have your favorites shown faster, follow @favstar