TRANSLATION: If I add first world problems to the end of it, people won't know I was breast fed until I was 4! pic.twitter.com/rm696oonbO

TRANSLATION: NO ONE LOVES ME SO I TAKE IT OUT ON OTHERS #QOTSALiveCommenters pic.twitter.com/efV49lEAei

People who comment on livestreams are just trying to find friends.

Teams that win game 7 advance 100% of the time

@theotherandrew *sigh* *Begrudgingly Hi Fives*

@abaillargeon21 It's T-Bird's world and we are all just livin' in it.

@alisonagosti He's that one guy who made that one weird voice or something

@uptomyknees Shouldn't you girls with Boyfriends be watching netflix and being ignored by your boyfriends anyway?

@jason23nash I can't wait until Vine for Android so I can show you my unipressive comedy! #StudentOfTheVine #Grasshopper

This summer Shandy tastes like someone poured lemon pledge in a natty ice

@puddinstrip @thestevenweber Steven Weber makes all writing gold.

Patrick Roy is trending, who did he beat up?

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUhHPAy5LD4 … Muzak

.@abaillargeon21 Aaaand Scene. All we do is drop mad joke science. PEOPLE DON'T PAY ATTENTION #SoapBox

@productiveouts Hunter Pence pauses for a moment in mid run for a fly ball, receiving a message from the mothership to his Mantis Brain.

@caytonholland That's the plot of The Secret to my Success 2: The Reckoning

@iankarmel If she's not up all night to Dim Sum, is she even worth it?

@elibraden Nothing would "BEAT" that, am I right? #ExceptChrisBrownMightBeatIt

@jason23nash The Dad Who Only Makes Things Worse is killing me right now.

Typical Bro Night, looking at cat pictures and listening to Belinda Carlisle