It's not religion that's ruining society, it's people obsessed with forcing their views on others. This includes you, pushy atheists.

Re-use Ziploc bags to save money on condoms #lifehacks

Ahhhhh. Everyone's favorite mental illness, "Love".

Look, I get that making fun of some drugged up bitch is more amusing but what happened in Norway is way more worthy of everyone's attention.

Welcome to CWCVille #ominousstreetsigns #terrifying

Bukkakke: When a mommy & a daddy & a daddy & a daddy & a daddy & a daddy & a daddy & a daddy decide mommy needs new special face lotion.

I'm seeking the approval of strangers, 140 characters of my soul at a time.

I totally love programs that crash while exiting. It's like, an old guy EXPLODING when you unplug his life support.

Tried to say "drink bleach" and "bite a dick" simultaneously. And thus "go bleach your dick" was born.

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, but it's really a giraffe, dude I fucking love this acid

My favorite tweeters are: EVERYONE I HAVEN'T FUCKING BLOCKED YET FOR BUGGING ME WITH THIS BULLSHIT

my tombstone: "lol it took like 3 of you to kill me"

When you adopt children, do you get to rename them whatever you want? I want to have an Inky, Blinky, Pinky & Claude

YOUR BIO SAYS "FUN LOVING & RANDOM" BUT YOUR TWEETS SAY "FUCKING RETARDED"

Today, I feel content. This worries me. Worry becomes panic. I am no longer content. ...Crisis averted.

Oh god. "Subwoofer." #furriesruineverything

Roses are red, the sunshine is hot, I really dislike you, so please go get shot

WHAT'S THE POINT OF ALL OF THIS IF SHE WAS LOBOTOMIZED IN THE FIRST TEN MINUTES ANYWAY? INTERESTING DREAM, YOU POOR SACK OF BRAINLESS

OF ALL THE POSSIBLE EVOLUTIONARY ADVANTAGES TO HAVING A PREHENSILE TAIL, ALL THE INTERNET SEEMS TO BE ABLE TO THINK OF IS "INSERT IN POOPER"

EY MAN I COULD BE AN ORGAN DONOR SOME DAY AND REPLACE YOUR FUCKED UP KIDNEYS OR SOMETHING, BUT NOOO, GO AHEAD AND BE MEAN TO ME YOU INGRATES