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  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    New guy at Starbuck's dotted the "i" in Erica w/a ♥ on my cup. Marriage proposal, right? Or he's gay. Or a playa. Dickbag. Hate him already.

    • 3,019
    • FAVS
    baliska2david_tullwytonwytb_r_u_gkerindoesntcookmrjohntofulbrown1213JoshuaWitter_37
    • 1,188
    • RETWEETS
    RawanFakhoury1mrjohntofulbrown1213JoshuaWitter_37AUdarthWhatevaConckrishna_vanBRIAN_FN_JAMES
    BlondiethegoodWookieOnUnicornBillMc7DaveWeasellvvzzsee_more13greenteam15TheDairylandDonJaySuchshruglordBarebakAssassinprimawesomeBlazedDonuts______dannydogmouthDeanB15TheTennisPhenomSaraESpiveytreydaywayabstractethedailymarkersameblackshoes1__StellacopterRyenInTheMoinesFadeAway2JazzzzzminaCpez38
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    My dog licked the crumbs out of my computer keyboard & earned an online college degree.

    • 2,340
    • FAVS
    Solarisol87baliska2david_tullThe_JBK_wytonwytHayleyLDieppuaprobzmrjohntofu
    • 1,267
    • RETWEETS
    baliska2david_tullInnesBlightjasbirbmrjohntofuIAmKashWahkrishna_vanrockinbinbin
    roggyiegigglegirlnoelAngreaHairyJew4LifeARobustLoofahlvvzzFSUSteve__1BigMickJaySuchGroperClevelandFredPollackpantsheymonroeHrBryDavidOzmundmattelgatoJason_maybethe_littletrampStellacopter
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    "Do what you love." ~Rich people

    • 1,597
    • FAVS
    UghNotAgainNoirClarePennyLa00591494lulocateliK__g_nV_g_nCallMe_MaysietweetingtinkkGnAcOwO
    • 1,332
    • RETWEETS
    barnaby_dlulocateliSugaBeeOfNCK__g_nV_g_npappayappadavid_tullGenPerdudab_r_u_g
    WildeThingycathryn_wardmattZillaaaa
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    It's called St. Valentine's Day because St. Blowjob for Jewelry Day just didn't have the same ring to it.

    • 1,657
    • FAVS
    baliska2david_tullGoodMistakes56DearAbbySimoncassvinceIAmKashWahkrishna_vanfinancecharge
    • 1,230
    • RETWEETS
    baliska2david_tullkrishna_vanRobRichardson3fuzzlimebornmiserableMrAdamBezDesignerCunt
    LifesGoodThingnowarrantylovablelucaskingofalltweetsgoonumbertwo______BlazedDonuts______CrystalMoonableJayDirt___________
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    If I don't return 17 calls,9 texts,& 7 emails, it's safe to assume you've been blown off & bumped up to Borderline Stalker Status. Sorry Mom

    • 1,732
    • FAVS
    david_tullDearAbbySimonIAmKashWahkrishna_vanfuzzlimerockinbinbinnayomeewallaceTDsareawesome
    • 550
    • RETWEETS
    krishna_vanskernn23brainsdocNinja_Soup_MrAdamBezDesignerCuntTateRyanntsm560
    NinjaFuneral______ThateverydayguyHome_HalfwaySeanINCypressthetobbieezeddalyletsdancebitchsMaui_SpeaksdannydogmouthLicoriceNipples______Coastiefish
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    My gal pal: "Are you on a diet? You look so nice & thin... What's you're secret?!"

    Me: "Poverty."

    • 1,530
    • FAVS
    baliska2david_tulldreamthievincassvinceIAmKashWahkrishna_vanfinancechargefuzzlime
    • 646
    • RETWEETS
    cassvinceIAmKashWahkrishna_vanthugaliciousmombrainsdocTateRyannMrAdamBezDesignerCunt
    jlane_Mr_0rang3crayan9SergioValenCoMaui_Speaksshatty48
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    “I’m working on it.” = Haven’t done shit

    • 1,315
    • FAVS
    baliska2david_tullfindmydollspurpledeguiShaaban96cassvinceRaleighTaylor17GreeneyedManiac
    • 679
    • RETWEETS
    tweetingtinkkdavid_tullhenson40iShaaban96cassvinceseattlerayartPippaLewisGreeneyedManiac
    GreeneyedManiacezeddalyJoeyPositivityjedfudallylife_suckerMaryKoCoheykarlinedheenan__________slyoung5FSUSteve__
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    I’ve discovered, the easiest way to change a flat tire is by not wearing a bra.

    • 1,283
    • FAVS
    cocakoehlerdavid_tullDearAbbySimoncassvinceIAmKashWahkrishna_vandirtydishtowelspartshacker
    • 467
    • RETWEETS
    david_tullkrishna_vanBorderKitschjdelaney145ShermanPartsshiivy_curlzfuzzlimethugaliciousmom
    QwertyJones3PeachCoffinanother_lisaTheAlexNevilkamiekaymee__madamezoobleJandalize
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    If you get pulled over in a Smart Car for speeding, you should get a standing ovation, not a ticket.

    • 1,238
    • FAVS
    david_tulldreamthievinDearAbbySimonIAmKashWahkrishna_vanLerkySmooheedfuzzlime
    • 456
    • RETWEETS
    IAmKashWahkrishna_vanNickZ2317ShermanPartsLerkyfuzzlimeglambertgrannyskernn23
    life_suckerUluwatuSiapziploccondom______AgamemNOMNOM
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    The awkward moment when you say, "I love you," then the pizza delivery guy says, "That'll be $12.46, please."

    • 1,275
    • FAVS
    ArtIsMyPorndavid_tullkrishna_vanvalfrancisco14AnkitShahrockinbinbinnayomeewallacepapasuncle
    • 306
    • RETWEETS
    david_tullkrishna_vanAnkitShahrockinbinbinTDsareawesomeskernn23brainsdocDesignerCunt
    gigglegirlnoelshegotagronkgingerfaced5haelPawnYourLifenotfaizzyMothpete
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    I'm like the David Hasselhoff of Twitter. I'm not particularly funny or talented, but they fucking love me in Europe.

    • 1,266
    • FAVS
    juliepie76david_tullSarcasticsapiennotstatekeepitkreepyFortuitousPenRick_IZcassvince
    • 229
    • RETWEETS
    david_tullMeccaBrooksFortuitousPenRick_IZlllvvvzzzJurassicPattanjadrischbrainsdoc
    Stellacopterthe_couch_guy____jrogasm__________JonCantTweetCarmel_ColemanCoastiefish
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    Growing up, we had twerking too, except it was called 'That girl isn’t right in the head.’

    • 748
    • FAVS
    david_tullIAmKashWahkrishna_vannayomeewallacelllvvvzzzPurple_whippedthysa31LiveInGramma
    • 725
    • RETWEETS
    teabangerlllvvvzzzTina_Umm_yupthugaliciousmomTrippWaldenRoyal_Fuckernocturnallymenmtss_
    anjadrischKendragardenDontFuckWithMom
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    Angry people who can’t take a joke have no idea how hilarious they are to those of us who can.

    • 1,008
    • FAVS
    david_tullDearAbbySimonZombie_KitIAmKashWahGreeneyedManiacfuzzlimerockinbinbinnayomeewallace
    • 453
    • RETWEETS
    IAmKashWahGreeneyedManiacfuzzlimeSamurai_RaveMrAdamBezDesignerCuntangelwhorns68tsm560
    ArroiaVividJamerScigglez__________MrStaggsMiahSaintBaconHuffer
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    Guys, when us girls travel in packs to the ladies' room, we are ripping our clothes off, rubbing our bodies together & making out. Busted.

    • 1,086
    • FAVS
    DogCat8594elisa212007Browneyed_mamadavid_tullDearAbbySimoncassvincedirtydishtowelsnayomeewallace
    • 333
    • RETWEETS
    elisa212007Browneyed_mamadavid_tullRizwanPehelwankababcheebrainsdocDesignerCunttsm560
    Jenny4ashleyMasterOfFuryNikiWithIssuesFadeAway2
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    My son’s field trip consent form lists walkmans & radios under ‘Optional items.’ Where the fuck are they going, 1989??

    • 921
    • FAVS
    elisa212007david_tullWIChivecassvinceIAmKashWahnayomeewallacesweetpea403TDsareawesome
    • 454
    • RETWEETS
    elisa212007david_tullcassvincebrainsdocTateRyannSkullsAndButterletti444bradisin
    bornmiserablelawblobdirtyCDNbitch
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    Supercuts is one step away from handing you the scissors & saying, “Here, you fix it.”

    • 1,028
    • FAVS
    Flambeauxxx_BmoreLikeNitajuliepie76cocakoehlerdavid_tullSarcasticsapienfindmydollsDearAbbySimon
    • 324
    • RETWEETS
    HolaArielSir_TarzanBmoreLikeNitaelisa212007david_tullbrainsdocErMahGerdKerthTheMelecio
    FatuousFloozy
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    Nothing snaps a woman into full blown CSI mode faster than an unfamiliar ponytail holder in her car.

    • 1,008
    • FAVS
    peterwesleypt2elisa212007david_tullcassvincenayomeewallacedanzorzNinja_Soup_itsdonnaok
    • 323
    • RETWEETS
    elisa212007david_tullDesignerCuntTateRyanntsm560acano339JessieColvininigoomontoya
    bazlyonschopper4jkBDGarp
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    Thanks for sharing your moon with me on Instagram. We don't have a moon where I live.

    • 875
    • FAVS
    UghNotAgainJanieBMvalzhoganjunkyardiganarmchairscholarallthingspoeticpeejay_61jbird8888
    • 415
    • RETWEETS
    Rhiii_Edztayylor_mcgrewpeejay_61jbird8888npatelleVividJamerEddiePrinzeJrTrillPizza
    Sarcasticsapien
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    I don't care if you wear footie pj's or sleep with a Snuggie. If you swish Listerine in your mouth for the full 30 seconds, you are BADASS.

    • 1,005
    • FAVS
    david_tullDearAbbySimoncassvinceIAmKashWahdirtydishtowelsnayomeewallaceNinja_Soup_MrAdamBez
    • 261
    • RETWEETS
    IAmKashWahmae_marsbrainsdocDesignerCuntLiisaTSTateRyanntsm560inigoomontoya
    dubstep4dadsbmarked21Werbo1937________
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    "The dryer adds 10 lbs." ~Jeans

    • 901
    • FAVS
    david_tullMsFucketryDearAbbySimonsnapperjonmichaelm_oorenayomeewallaceNinja_Soup_MrAdamBez
    • 222
    • RETWEETS
    dirtydishtowelsMrAdamBeztsm560ImaFlyontheWallinigoomontoyamprice1006thatdutchpersonFatuousFloozy
    ReeceValentineErik_AllenVodkaDietSodaAllstalkedoutrydontcare________Excapeplan
@SCbchbum

@SCbchbum

Got 86'd from Whole Foods for showering