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  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    New guy at Starbuck's dotted the "i" in Erica w/a ♥ on my cup. Marriage proposal, right? Or he's gay. Or a playa. Dickbag. Hate him already.

    • 3,059
    • FAVS
    jumabrtoyotaman1988Katierose47wilschro33neverenough12saltandlight17tonypurrrrythdivewhisperer
    • 1,202
    • RETWEETS
    IrishVinjumabrGSHOK9GanderGinneverenough12GingerGanderhaykshanKaylaKFoster
    WhatevaConcBlondiethegoodWookieOnUnicornBillMc7DaveWeasellvvzzsee_more13greenteam15TheDairylandDonJaySuchshruglordBarebakAssassinprimawesomeBlazedDonuts______dannydogmouthDeanB15TheTennisPhenomSaraESpiveytreydayway__abstractethedailymarkersameblackshoes1__StellacopterRyenInTheMoinesFadeAway2JazzzzzminaCpez38
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    "Do what you love." ~Rich people

    • 2,162
    • FAVS
    dietredbullcarlstheodvscvjohnblasphe_meThe_Last_Nomadcbotha82MacroReconhaykshan
    • 1,747
    • RETWEETS
    carlstheodvscvjohnjooliooliannaaarobyncharlesssathenakatherineblasphe_meskinny_stonerrDownFrontArtist
    DanielRCarrilloWildeThingycathryn_wardmattZillaaaa
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    My dog licked the crumbs out of my computer keyboard & earned an online college degree.

    • 2,425
    • FAVS
    The_Last_NomadhaykshanAspersioncasttgonefishinBabsGreenEyesBabyBoomerBoyyaJIMBOSWELTMiniiG
    • 1,307
    • RETWEETS
    kspinks4485haykshantgonefishinLaurieDuvall3JIMBOSWELTjimmyfnjonestradjazzcatsixfootcandy
    roggyiegigglegirlnoelAngreaHairyJew4LifeARobustLoofahlvvzzFSUSteve__1BigMickJaySuchGroperClevelandFredPollackpantsheymonroeHrBryDavidOzmundmattelgatoJason_maybethe_littletrampStellacopter
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    It's called St. Valentine's Day because St. Blowjob for Jewelry Day just didn't have the same ring to it.

    • 1,674
    • FAVS
    haykshananthony_ruddHiddleDeeDeechriscoombs668HOTTVampChickaCaptainKanedaKaylaKFosterBruppFWTX
    • 1,235
    • RETWEETS
    chriscoombs668KaylaKFosterSquizbotspiraled_awaypseudo_fredbaliska2david_tullkrishna_van
    LifesGoodThingnowarrantylovablelucaskingofalltweetsgoonumbertwo______BlazedDonuts______CrystalMoonableJayDirt___________
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    The number of hashtags you use on Instagram pix is equal to the number of psych meds you should be on.

    • 1,702
    • FAVS
    HPEmilyGSmoothDadsokyshipnmdob11Rebecca_GraceJLSkoPinkebellymollymichaela
    • 1,175
    • RETWEETS
    HPEmilyGTabbyC5sokyshipnmollymichaelaB1gBrainsMcGeeashleyisbeastinChiemoMessengerklcharette
    BlackCheesePie
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    If I don't return 17 calls,9 texts,& 7 emails, it's safe to assume you've been blown off & bumped up to Borderline Stalker Status. Sorry Mom

    • 1,742
    • FAVS
    haykshanchriscoombs668KaylaKFosterJSLauderdalespiraled_awaySquizbotAnemoneOhMoreWants
    • 556
    • RETWEETS
    TMRoysakifahsanKaylaKFosterspiraled_awaySquizbotMoreWantskrishna_vanskernn23
    NinjaFuneral______ThateverydayguyHome_HalfwaySeanInCypressthetobbieezeddalyletsdancebitchsMaui_SpeaksdannydogmouthLicoriceNipples______Coastiefish
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    My gal pal: "Are you on a diet? You look so nice & thin... What's you're secret?!"

    Me: "Poverty."

    • 1,544
    • FAVS
    haykshantgonefishinsixfootcandyKaylaKFosterTHEPokerWifeSquizbotAnemoneOhMoreWants
    • 652
    • RETWEETS
    tgonefishinSquizbotlonewulf87JustFollownRTspiraled_awaypseudo_fredcassvinceIAmKashWah
    jlane_Mr_0rang3crayan9SergioValenCoMaui_Speaksshatty48
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    “I’m working on it.” = Haven’t done shit

    • 1,350
    • FAVS
    BarctwainhaykshanAspersioncasttgonefishinb4sageMattShineyShawn__Grahamg00phy
    • 693
    • RETWEETS
    dmcado81haykshanhymennnisdeadwhitney_beeeclose_cKimberleymakadotheDJClaritythebirdsays
    GreeneyedMofoezeddalyJoeyPositivityjedfudallylife_suckerMaryKoCoheykarlinedheenan__________slyoung5FSUSteve__
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    I’ve discovered, the easiest way to change a flat tire is by not wearing a bra.

    • 1,296
    • FAVS
    DAPettishaykshanKaylaKFosteranja_drischBruppFWTXSquizbotAnemoneOhMoreWants
    • 474
    • RETWEETS
    f1am3b0yhaykshanSquizbotlonewulf87MoreWantsspiraled_awaypseudo_freddavid_tull
    QwertyJones3PeachCoffinanother_lisaTheAlexNevilkamiekaymee__madamezoobleJandalize
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    If you get pulled over in a Smart Car for speeding, you should get a standing ovation, not a ticket.

    • 1,257
    • FAVS
    freestyle56missbrownie1BarctwainhaykshanU_Lookeds34n77eboychiktradjazzcat
    • 464
    • RETWEETS
    Barctwainhaykshanelyse4designsixfootcandyspiraled_awaySquizbotToxicWorrierpseudo_fred
    life_suckerUluwatuSiapziploccondom______AgamemNOMNOM
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    The awkward moment when you say, "I love you," then the pizza delivery guy says, "That'll be $12.46, please."

    • 1,285
    • FAVS
    BarctwainThe_Last_NomadhaykshanKaylaKFosterTHEPokerWifeSquizbotAnemoneOhMoreWants
    • 311
    • RETWEETS
    haykshanSquizbotELEPHANTSiNJARSOhYeahILiedpseudo_freddavid_tullkrishna_vanAnkitShah
    gigglegirlnoelshegotagronkgingerfaced5haelPawnYourLifenotfaizzyMothpete
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    I'm like the David Hasselhoff of Twitter. I'm not particularly funny or talented, but they fucking love me in Europe.

    • 1,277
    • FAVS
    haykshansixfootcandyKaylaKFosterJSLauderdaleGeoff55RSquizbotAnemoneOhMoreWants
    • 231
    • RETWEETS
    Squizbotpseudo_freddavid_tullMeccaBrooksFortuitousPenRick_IZlllvvvzzzJurassicPatt
    Stellacopterthe_couch_guy____jrogasm__________JonCantTweet__Carmel_ColemanCoastiefish
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    Guys, when us girls travel in packs to the ladies' room, we are ripping our clothes off, rubbing our bodies together & making out. Busted.

    • 1,142
    • FAVS
    haykshanzami_singsonBwanaChrisgymgirlmelroczacgratefuldad420ericxdeltabcfucku
    • 354
    • RETWEETS
    bcfuckuPaigemursetsixfootcandytreydayway__JSLauderdaleSquizbotdarrrkstarrrRillyKewl
    Jenny4ashleyMasterOfFuryNikiWithIssuesFadeAway2
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    Growing up, we had twerking too, except it was called 'That girl isn’t right in the head.’

    • 762
    • FAVS
    haykshanValerijaLapuhsixfootcandychriscoombs668FilmatelistKaylaKFosterBruppFWTXLionsFanDEP
    • 731
    • RETWEETS
    KaylaKFosterKrazydiamond81JSLauderdalespiraled_awayUrSassy_GingerSquizbotchar_m26MikeSpitler
    anja_drischKendragardenDontFuckWithMom
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    Angry people who can’t take a joke have no idea how hilarious they are to those of us who can.

    • 1,030
    • FAVS
    The_Last_NomadhaykshanLittering_And___iLadyBirdU_Lookeds34n77nw8pdxgbjay
    • 463
    • RETWEETS
    haykshanmjkinneyjr_iLadyBirdsixfootcandyJSLauderdaleUrSassy_GingerSquizbotPrfeclyiNsane
    ArroiaVividJamerScigglez__________MrStaggsMiahSaintBaconHuffer
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    My son’s field trip consent form lists walkmans & radios under ‘Optional items.’ Where the fuck are they going, 1989??

    • 976
    • FAVS
    haykshananthony_ruddCaptainKanedaKaylaKFosteranja_drischJollyTaxpayerChillytimbo3CockringCircus
    • 485
    • RETWEETS
    KaylaKFosterJSLauderdalespiraled_awaySquizbotSiggyMDAnalogbearhabreddevilchassidy_boggs
    bornmiserablelawblobdirtyCDNbitch
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    I swear to god if this girl doesn't get my coffee order right I'm gonna tip her, drink it anyway & be back again tomorrow.

    • 987
    • FAVS
    DaddyJewThe_Last_Nomadhaykshananthony_ruddnitinsharma4ucox_petechriscoombs668aKhalifa101
    • 393
    • RETWEETS
    haykshancox_peteKaylaKFosterOutOnTheMoorsCassidyrobinetjjjeffs13GondavictorHank_Writes
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    Supercuts is one step away from handing you the scissors & saying, “Here, you fix it.”

    • 1,043
    • FAVS
    haykshanMrsPaleRiderjrandditrialfemmeStephenmvkKaylaKFosterjlkrobertshandstands4u
    • 331
    • RETWEETS
    TMRoysMrsPaleRiderDJWetwilly_haveyoumetTedBertmosaanja_drischSquizbotToxicWorrier
    FatuousFloozy__
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    Nothing snaps a woman into full blown CSI mode faster than an unfamiliar ponytail holder in her car.

    • 1,018
    • FAVS
    haykshanKaylaKFosteranja_drischTHEPokerWifeSquizbotAnemoneOhMoreWantsJustFollownRT
    • 326
    • RETWEETS
    Squizbotspiraled_awaypseudo_fredelisa212007david_tullDesignerCuntTateRyanntsm560
    bazlyonschopper4jkBDGarp
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    Thanks for sharing your moon with me on Instagram. We don't have a moon where I live.

    • 906
    • FAVS
    The_Last_NomadTink_Her_BellDAPettishaykshantgonefishinchriscoombs668aKhalifa101Kimberleymakado
    • 437
    • RETWEETS
    haykshanZedKamuzuTMRoysjranddiMoney40MonicaRaquellebabiiStephenmvkKaylaKFoster
    Sarcasticsapien
@SCbchbum

@SCbchbum

Got 86'd from Whole Foods for showering