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  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    "Do what you love." ~Rich people

    • 4,022
    • FAVS
    MrWolfowitzdb_stewartBittyBum70Ceeksi_eat_fruitChantal__MmylifeinawordIrwin22D
    • 2,950
    • RETWEETS
    i_eat_fruitmylifeinawordmusicbaumAamberatkinsbethkellayR0binHopeTheGlenniealissaisok
    JosesLovesYoubigmacherDanielRCarrilloWildeThingycathryn_wardmattZillaaaa
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    New guy at Starbuck's dotted the "i" in Erica w/a ♥ on my cup. Marriage proposal, right? Or he's gay. Or a playa. Dickbag. Hate him already.

    • 3,188
    • FAVS
    i_eat_fruiturekasgoldDripsmantreydaywayBillyX101Salmal44PhildoBangnzCurly_gurl135
    • 1,262
    • RETWEETS
    treydaywayPhildoBangnzCurly_gurl135GapToothWonderdangerboy74Twisted_MettlebrandiwastakenTheKelleyDoll
    treydaywayDumbConfessionsericonederfulWhatevaConcBlondiethegoodWookieOnUnicornBillMc7DaveWeasellvvzzsee_more13greenteam15TheDairylandDonJaySuchshruglordBarebakAssassinprimawesomeBlazedDonuts______dannydogmouthDeanB15TheTennisPhenomSaraESpiveytreydayway__abstractethedailymarkersameblackshoes1__StellacopterRyenInTheMoinesFadeAway2JazzzzzminaCpez38
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    My dog licked the crumbs out of my computer keyboard & earned an online college degree.

    • 2,513
    • FAVS
    soursuiteMelloPsychovhstapes2K_WCoxLordOfMacaroniGrumpiestBadgerBittyBumi_eat_fruit
    • 1,350
    • RETWEETS
    K_WCoxLordOfMacaroniBittyBumi_eat_fruitmaconthemooseMHanson62MishyMshSumaneshSays
    roggyiegigglegirlnoelAngreaHairyJew4LifeARobustLoofahlvvzzFSUSteve1BigMickJaySuchGroperClevelandFredPollackpantsheymonroeHrBryDavidOzmundmattelgatoJason_maybethe_littletrampStellacopter
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    The number of hashtags you use on Instagram pix is equal to the number of psych meds you should be on.

    • 2,241
    • FAVS
    AttemptedMurmurGrumpiestBadgerBittyBumi_eat_fruittweetcomedianmumof3loveliesnerdfighterpunkinnocent_bitch_
    • 1,433
    • RETWEETS
    i_eat_fruitML_OliverNeuronicismwavyG21treydaywayskinfullywickedCurly_gurl135DinorahMartin13
    BlackCheesePie
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    Most adult friendships are just figuring out whose turn it is to cancel plans.

    • 1,944
    • FAVS
    arjundmtweetcomedianBesos4BellaLiminalDnbLS0f4da12thegatekeeper50MindBytesbigmoish
    • 1,239
    • RETWEETS
    alata_alataLS0f4da12thegatekeeper50WilliamReaganTheBaffercabbieBotsadb0ycakesDumbConfessions
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    It's called St. Valentine's Day because St. Blowjob for Jewelry Day just didn't have the same ring to it.

    • 1,759
    • FAVS
    Twisted_MettleDumbConfessionsSmartticismsjaniceMcbMeghanOBTheSuperParentsTOPLAWDOGshopkins776
    • 1,279
    • RETWEETS
    TOPLAWDOGshopkins776ella_nycMummifiedvadersaladdixonshumanPuchynatornsideandysbrain
    LifesGoodThingnowarrantylovablelucaskingofalltweetsgoonumbertwo______BlazedDonuts______CrystalMoonableJayDirt___________
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    Thanks for sharing your moon with me on Instagram. We don't have a moon where I live.

    • 1,709
    • FAVS
    tweetcomedianallison_harris1MindBytesTwisted_MettleDumbConfessionsericonederfulvictorysquatTravelingSaurus
    • 754
    • RETWEETS
    Tatianaberquistelizabetheab8chasenicholas2KatieExpatkieradurningPoofNJsierramariec23Obey_Enrique
    Sarcasticsapien
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    If I don't return 17 calls,9 texts,& 7 emails, it's safe to assume you've been blown off & bumped up to Borderline Stalker Status. Sorry Mom

    • 1,788
    • FAVS
    mlgsSaveItForFestTwisted_Mettlekyle_thatisallDumbConfessionsSmartticismscloudypianosCoolFishTank
    • 580
    • RETWEETS
    SaveItForFestTwisted_Mettleelectrobeatjunksim1spinGratefulWieuterdanger_spouseKarimJandaleMiraEtcEtc
    NinjaFuneral______ThateverydayguyHome_HalfwaySeanInCypressthetobbieezeddalyletsdancebitchsMaui_SpeaksdannydogmouthLicoriceNipples______Coastiefish
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    My gal pal: "Are you on a diet? You look so nice & thin... What's you're secret?!"

    Me: "Poverty."

    • 1,573
    • FAVS
    BillyX101Salmal44Curly_gurl135MindBytesTwisted_MettleDumbConfessionsSmartticismsDonnie_Fairburn
    • 667
    • RETWEETS
    BillyX101Curly_gurl135shopkins776KhaleddAhmedSmartassChefJSLauderdaleaarohi_25FaranasDhauri
    jlane_Mr_0rang3crayan9SergioValenCoMaui_Speaksshatty48
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    “I’m working on it.” = Haven’t done shit

    • 1,424
    • FAVS
    HlaoRootweetcomedianTheRealLivedsunflowerdeedslauraleeksmithCubanB1987Livewire3791minnie_in_pink7
    • 735
    • RETWEETS
    HlaoRoosunflowerdeedslauraleeksmithLivewire3791minnie_in_pink7FrasierSeinBillyX101daniel_frijoles
    GreeneyedMofo__ezeddalyJoeyPositivityjedfudallylife_suckerMaryKoCoheykarlinedheenan__________slyoung5FSUSteve
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    If you get pulled over in a Smart Car for speeding, you should get a standing ovation, not a ticket.

    • 1,383
    • FAVS
    tweetcomedianerika1110cdaniel_frijolesDouchenaziCurly_gurl135Twisted_MettleKeyenLeedisc0dan
    • 520
    • RETWEETS
    erika1110cSalmal44Curly_gurl135swingkittenbearsnflamesDumbConfessionsnazilarrybirdarcherenemy
    life_suckerUluwatuSiapziploccondom______AgamemNOMNOM
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    I’ve discovered, the easiest way to change a flat tire is by not wearing a bra.

    • 1,382
    • FAVS
    ArtemisNYChatablockazSea_monkeeeyandersx3KillyaJeanSmithAliceWernerKeystoneKid27janellegillxo
    • 512
    • RETWEETS
    stoyan_petrovkayy_emmmxoKillyaJeanSmithLS0f4da12Sarrah_Sloanthegatekeeper50allijohnstonjamben82
    QwertyJones3PeachCoffinanother_lisaTheAlexNevilkamiekaymee__zoeklarJandalize
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    I swear to god if this girl doesn't get my coffee order right I'm gonna tip her, drink it anyway & be back again tomorrow.

    • 1,323
    • FAVS
    MindBytestheBorneyAaronsOtherOneweezafishdangerboy74Twisted_Mettlekyle_thatisallCurly_gurl135
    • 493
    • RETWEETS
    donna_fryseanjwebweezafishdangerboy74Twisted_MettleCurly_gurl135tangledwebberNeuronicism
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    The awkward moment when you say, "I love you," then the pizza delivery guy says, "That'll be $12.46, please."

    • 1,302
    • FAVS
    Twisted_MettleDumbConfessionsonume_KhaleddAhmedorlandoM321SmartassChefJSLauderdaleEves1
    • 319
    • RETWEETS
    KhaleddAhmedJohnnyGar11Lexi_GjSmartassChefloribuckmajormax_pad21clumsy_singhSir_Strange__
    gigglegirlnoelshegotagronkgingerfaced5haelPawnYourLifenotfaizzyMothpete
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    My son’s field trip consent form lists walkmans & radios under ‘Optional items.’ Where the fuck are they going, 1989??

    • 1,067
    • FAVS
    thegatekeeper50MillaVBillyX101secretlydeviantiluvnyflashskinfullywickedNorthEast_Sassbetowmx
    • 537
    • RETWEETS
    betowmxCurly_gurl135nocombnobrushSaveItForFestJayPea222Twisted_MettleGriffinShamaraxileyx
    bornmiserablelawblobTwiceTheHops
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    I'm like the David Hasselhoff of Twitter. I'm not particularly funny or talented, but they fucking love me in Europe.

    • 1,312
    • FAVS
    thats_sidLilMamacitaDontellenjohnson4Mr_Coffee28fgboofktemp__xothechevymanbruhCrazzzyKen
    • 247
    • RETWEETS
    thats_sidLilMamacitaDontktemp__xoCrazzzyKenDicker410love_my_2catsabhorrent_wifeCurly_gurl135
    Stellacopterthe_couch_guy____jrogasm__________JonCantTweet__Carmel_ColemanCoastiefish
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    Angry people who can’t take a joke have no idea how hilarious they are to those of us who can.

    • 1,062
    • FAVS
    BillyX101DouchenaziCurly_gurl135JayPea222Twisted_MettleDumbConfessionsHollyMemphisOhKateDarling
    • 480
    • RETWEETS
    Curly_gurl135Twisted_MettleMackTheMacHollyMemphisFartLunaticMJB2364CockydudeprobsDebraMuffin
    ArroiaVividJamerScigglez__________MrStaggsMiahSaintBaconHuffer
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    Guys, when us girls travel in packs to the ladies' room, we are ripping our clothes off, rubbing our bodies together & making out. Busted.

    • 1,155
    • FAVS
    Curly_gurl135Twisted_MettleDumbConfessionsMJB2364moon_pizza_mikeThat_Fing_CatfecicleDebraMuffin
    • 362
    • RETWEETS
    Curly_gurl135fecicleMJB2364DebraMuffinKhaleddAhmedCITYLONDONMEDIA__BINGBINGDELIGHTThrill_Tweeter
    Jenny4ashleyMasterOfFuryNikiWithIssuesFadeAway2
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    Supercuts is one step away from handing you the scissors & saying, “Here, you fix it.”

    • 1,130
    • FAVS
    thegatekeeper50Twisted_Mettlekyle_thatisallNatalie_malDumbConfessionsericonederfulMr_KapowskiKerfuckus
    • 380
    • RETWEETS
    officeballerinaBareChestyorneryalwayssiddo471shopkins776perchicoreeiowaambchaserLosLos__
    FatuousFloozy__
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    Growing up, we had twerking too, except it was called 'That girl isn’t right in the head.’

    • 768
    • FAVS
    Twisted_MettleCurly_gurl135DumbConfessionsMr_KapowskiFartLunaticdwjstevensCharlieSkudmoon_pizza_mike
    • 734
    • RETWEETS
    Curly_gurl135FartLunaticMJB2364DebraMuffinKhaleddAhmedKaylaKFosterKrazydiamond81JSLauderdale
    Thrill_TweeterKendragardenDontFuckWithMom
@SCbchbum

@SCbchbum

Got 86'd from Whole Foods for showering

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