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  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    New guy at Starbuck's dotted the "i" in Erica w/a ♥ on my cup. Marriage proposal, right? Or he's gay. Or a playa. Dickbag. Hate him already.

    • 3,035
    • FAVS
    JSLauderdaleLunatic_timesspiraled_awaySquizbotAnemoneOhMoreWantsmooshkabean69AnnaG930
    • 1,194
    • RETWEETS
    JSLauderdalespiraled_awaySquizbotDeurb1SolelyBpseudo_fredRawanFakhoury1mrjohntofu
    BlondiethegoodWookieOnUnicornBillMc7DaveWeasellvvzzsee_more13greenteam15TheDairylandDonJaySuchshruglordBarebakAssassinprimawesomeBlazedDonuts______dannydogmouthDeanB15TheTennisPhenomSaraESpiveytreydayway__abstractethedailymarkersameblackshoes1__StellacopterRyenInTheMoinesFadeAway2JazzzzzminaCpez38
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    "Do what you love." ~Rich people

    • 2,147
    • FAVS
    JamieGreenleesseanx3rebeccadrobertsall_alivedonovanconveryAmielProvostythegrumpusswhokarldavis
    • 1,737
    • RETWEETS
    seanx3DrBo_chansuicideartifexJakeBrooks665mooayouaLena_Skayellowflipflopsblackhawknoir
    DanielRCarrilloWildeThingycathryn_wardmattZillaaaa
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    My dog licked the crumbs out of my computer keyboard & earned an online college degree.

    • 2,414
    • FAVS
    mikewaldron115Lanecat2skovvykleagsandspiraled_awayBurbankLawGuyWhtUReallyMeanmicaelalee
    • 1,299
    • RETWEETS
    69shadesoftaarLanecat2spiraled_awayWhtUReallyMeanmicaelaleeSquizbotLauren_Ipsum_darrrkstarrr
    roggyiegigglegirlnoelAngreaHairyJew4LifeARobustLoofahlvvzzFSUSteve1BigMickJaySuchGroperClevelandFredPollackpantsheymonroeHrBryDavidOzmundmattelgatoJason_maybethe_littletrampStellacopter
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    It's called St. Valentine's Day because St. Blowjob for Jewelry Day just didn't have the same ring to it.

    • 1,666
    • FAVS
    JSLauderdaleSquizbotAnemoneOhMoreWantsJustFollownRTspiraled_awayzoofsterWildeThingy
    • 1,233
    • RETWEETS
    Squizbotspiraled_awaypseudo_fredbaliska2david_tullkrishna_vanRobRichardson3fuzzlime
    LifesGoodThingnowarrantylovablelucaskingofalltweetsgoonumbertwo______BlazedDonuts______CrystalMoonableJayDirt___________
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    The number of hashtags you use on Instagram pix is equal to the number of psych meds you should be on.

    • 1,568
    • FAVS
    MattvsfoodFourthDaisyaprilfrenniemeganlynn94JennyPentlandBridgetPhetasyZachReid81LindseyGodfrey2
    • 1,123
    • RETWEETS
    stephandstuffmaybemelindaZachReid81AinDCharvykekNicaNoelleNewsgothicyogini_XRafaelaX_
    BlackCheesePie
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    If I don't return 17 calls,9 texts,& 7 emails, it's safe to assume you've been blown off & bumped up to Borderline Stalker Status. Sorry Mom

    • 1,739
    • FAVS
    JSLauderdalespiraled_awaySquizbotAnemoneOhMoreWantsJustFollownRTOhYeahILieddavid_tull
    • 553
    • RETWEETS
    spiraled_awaySquizbotMoreWantskrishna_vanskernn23brainsdocNinja_Soup_MrAdamBez
    NinjaFuneral______ThateverydayguyHome_HalfwayUghSeanthetobbieezeddalyletsdancebitchsMaui_SpeaksdannydogmouthLicoriceNipples______Coastiefish
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    My gal pal: "Are you on a diet? You look so nice & thin... What's you're secret?!"

    Me: "Poverty."

    • 1,540
    • FAVS
    THEPokerWifeSquizbotAnemoneOhMoreWantsBrittanyBonetfragile_soulsJustFollownRTspiraled_away
    • 651
    • RETWEETS
    Squizbotlonewulf87JustFollownRTspiraled_awaypseudo_fredcassvinceIAmKashWahkrishna_van
    jlane_Mr_0rang3crayan9SergioValenCoMaui_Speaksshatty48
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    “I’m working on it.” = Haven’t done shit

    • 1,323
    • FAVS
    _odlanyeRTHEPokerWifeSquizbotAnemoneOhMoreWantsJustFollownRTWildeThingypseudo_fred
    • 682
    • RETWEETS
    Squizbotabishekgpseudo_fredtweetingtinkkdavid_tullhenson40____7xcassvince
    GreeneyedMofoezeddalyJoeyPositivityjedfudallylife_suckerMaryKoCoheykarlinedheenan__________slyoung5FSUSteve
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    I’ve discovered, the easiest way to change a flat tire is by not wearing a bra.

    • 1,291
    • FAVS
    SquizbotAnemoneOhMoreWantsJustFollownRTspiraled_awayToxicWorrierzoofsterpseudo_fred
    • 472
    • RETWEETS
    Squizbotlonewulf87MoreWantsspiraled_awaypseudo_freddavid_tullkrishna_vanBorderKitsch
    QwertyJones3PeachCoffinanother_lisaTheAlexNevilkamiekaymee__madamezoobleJandalize
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    If you get pulled over in a Smart Car for speeding, you should get a standing ovation, not a ticket.

    • 1,247
    • FAVS
    spiraled_awayTHEPokerWifeSquizbotAnemoneOhMoreWantsJustFollownRTToxicWorrierOutOnTheMoors
    • 460
    • RETWEETS
    spiraled_awaySquizbotToxicWorrierpseudo_fredIAmKashWahkrishna_vanNickZ2317ShermanParts
    life_suckerUluwatuSiapziploccondom______AgamemNOMNOM
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    The awkward moment when you say, "I love you," then the pizza delivery guy says, "That'll be $12.46, please."

    • 1,281
    • FAVS
    THEPokerWifeSquizbotAnemoneOhMoreWantsJustFollownRTpseudo_fredArtIsMyPorndavid_tull
    • 310
    • RETWEETS
    SquizbotELEPHANTSiNJARSOhYeahILiedpseudo_freddavid_tullkrishna_vanAnkitShahrockinbinbin
    gigglegirlnoelshegotagronkgingerfaced5haelPawnYourLifenotfaizzyMothpete
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    I'm like the David Hasselhoff of Twitter. I'm not particularly funny or talented, but they fucking love me in Europe.

    • 1,274
    • FAVS
    JSLauderdaleGeoff55RSquizbotAnemoneOhMoreWantsJustFollownRTzoofsterpseudo_fred
    • 231
    • RETWEETS
    Squizbotpseudo_freddavid_tullMeccaBrooksFortuitousPenRick_IZlllvvvzzzJurassicPatt
    Stellacopterthe_couch_guy____jrogasm__________JonCantTweet__Carmel_ColemanCoastiefish
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    Growing up, we had twerking too, except it was called 'That girl isn’t right in the head.’

    • 758
    • FAVS
    LionsFanDEPJSLauderdale_odlanyeRspiraled_awayUrSassy_GingerSquizbotMoreWantsDaraEvans2
    • 730
    • RETWEETS
    Krazydiamond81JSLauderdalespiraled_awayUrSassy_GingerSquizbotchar_m26MikeSpitlerJustFollownRT
    astrobudsterKendragardenDontFuckWithMom
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    Guys, when us girls travel in packs to the ladies' room, we are ripping our clothes off, rubbing our bodies together & making out. Busted.

    • 1,131
    • FAVS
    treydayway__JSLauderdaleTHEPokerWifeale_bundySquizbotAnemoneOhstrangeHelenaMoreWants
    • 351
    • RETWEETS
    treydayway__JSLauderdaleSquizbotdarrrkstarrrRillyKewlaterdoekrishna_van_MaridithJoy
    Jenny4ashleyMasterOfFuryNikiWithIssuesFadeAway2
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    Angry people who can’t take a joke have no idea how hilarious they are to those of us who can.

    • 1,018
    • FAVS
    TomE83_JSLauderdaleTHEPokerWifeUrSassy_GingerSquizbotAnemoneOhMoreWantsDanLoFMass
    • 459
    • RETWEETS
    JSLauderdaleUrSassy_GingerSquizbotPrfeclyiNsaneashburn_laurenJustFollownRTIAmKashWahGreeneyedMofo
    ArroiaVividJamerScigglez__________MrStaggsMiahSaintBaconHuffer
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    My son’s field trip consent form lists walkmans & radios under ‘Optional items.’ Where the fuck are they going, 1989??

    • 971
    • FAVS
    JollyTaxpayerChillytimbo3CockringCircusHardline_StanceJSLauderdale_odlanyeRLandon8426spiraled_away
    • 484
    • RETWEETS
    JSLauderdalespiraled_awaySquizbotSiggyMDAnalogbearhabreddevilchassidy_boggskaranotcara
    bornmiserablelawblobdirtyCDNbitch
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    I swear to god if this girl doesn't get my coffee order right I'm gonna tip her, drink it anyway & be back again tomorrow.

    • 984
    • FAVS
    OutOnTheMoorsLaScorcha_odlanyeRJenniAllportMorganTurner98Oliviamoskaluktomcat340Sam75283744
    • 391
    • RETWEETS
    OutOnTheMoorsCassidyrobinetjjjeffs13GondavictorHank_WritesbrammercatbrainsdocAveryAWilde
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    Supercuts is one step away from handing you the scissors & saying, “Here, you fix it.”

    • 1,036
    • FAVS
    _odlanyeRSquizbotAnemoneOhMoreWantsawescarJustFollownRTVirtualRVToxicWorrier
    • 329
    • RETWEETS
    SquizbotToxicWorriernightshadesirispseudo_fredHolaArielSir_TarzanBmoreLikeNitaelisa212007
    FatuousFloozy__
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    Nothing snaps a woman into full blown CSI mode faster than an unfamiliar ponytail holder in her car.

    • 1,015
    • FAVS
    THEPokerWifeSquizbotAnemoneOhMoreWantsJustFollownRTspiraled_awaypseudo_fredpeterwesleypt2
    • 326
    • RETWEETS
    Squizbotspiraled_awaypseudo_fredelisa212007david_tullDesignerCuntTateRyanntsm560
    bazlyonschopper4jkBDGarp
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    Thanks for sharing your moon with me on Instagram. We don't have a moon where I live.

    • 891
    • FAVS
    SteveDutzy_odlanyeRTHEPokerWifePinnerThoughtSquizbotAnemoneOhIAmChristopherLMoreWants
    • 422
    • RETWEETS
    TrvlnRvrsdBluesSquizbotJustFollownRTkaan_sensoyToxicWorrierSkullfuckTpseudo_fredRhiii_Edz
    Sarcasticsapien
@SCbchbum

@SCbchbum

Got 86'd from Whole Foods for showering