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  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    "Do what you love." ~Rich people

    • 3,323
    • FAVS
    onume_djskill3tTheBigPahudrpjwillWhoopdeedoo22theshantillyViaPrivataITALYa_lov3z
    • 2,455
    • RETWEETS
    JEANIESBEACHIronicPollyanaLady_ColleenJWesWilliamsdjskill3tkaty_lynndirtydishtowelsLittleDesastre
    bigmacherDanielRCarrilloWildeThingycathryn_wardmattZillaaaa
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    New guy at Starbuck's dotted the "i" in Erica w/a ♥ on my cup. Marriage proposal, right? Or he's gay. Or a playa. Dickbag. Hate him already.

    • 3,084
    • FAVS
    onume_djskill3tKhaleddAhmedLaurenMarkkusonZenDamselSmartassChefwhatitis112Thrill_Tweeter
    • 1,213
    • RETWEETS
    djskill3tKhaleddAhmedZenDamselSmartassChefjaystellsTheVeritableJhonRulesSir_Strange
    WhatevaConcBlondiethegoodWookieOnUnicornBillMc7DaveWeasellvvzzsee_more13greenteam15TheDairylandDonJaySuchshruglordBarebakAssassinprimawesomeBlazedDonuts______dannydogmouthDeanB15TheTennisPhenomSaraESpiveytreydayway__abstractethedailymarkersameblackshoes1__StellacopterRyenInTheMoinesFadeAway2JazzzzzminaCpez38
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    My dog licked the crumbs out of my computer keyboard & earned an online college degree.

    • 2,438
    • FAVS
    onume_djskill3tKhaleddAhmedEasyE_ColitsnerdcraftsZenDamselJSLauderdaleloribuckmajor
    • 1,315
    • RETWEETS
    KhaleddAhmedSmartassCheftsnerdcraftsZenDamselJSLauderdaleSir_Strangedrewbie09hirojesus
    roggyiegigglegirlnoelAngreaHairyJew4LifeARobustLoofahlvvzzFSUSteve1BigMickJaySuchGroperClevelandFredPollackpantsheymonroeHrBryDavidOzmundmattelgatoJason_maybethe_littletrampStellacopter
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    The number of hashtags you use on Instagram pix is equal to the number of psych meds you should be on.

    • 2,132
    • FAVS
    onume_djskill3tTheBigPahuvivivarelakentgrossarthKhaleddAhmedhiimrenSmartassChef
    • 1,406
    • RETWEETS
    kentgrossarthKhaleddAhmedSmartassChefTraceHughes20anarchyagogoPlaid_Nauseumjamesmarshall42Chalupacabra__
    BlackCheesePie
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    It's called St. Valentine's Day because St. Blowjob for Jewelry Day just didn't have the same ring to it.

    • 1,697
    • FAVS
    onume_djskill3tWhoopdeedoo22kentgrossarthSmartassChefwhatitis112elisa_lagaceDanorSlim
    • 1,245
    • RETWEETS
    average_milfjussssmokindjskill3tKhaleddAhmedSmartassChefChrislameassLackOfShameJSLauderdale
    LifesGoodThingnowarrantylovablelucaskingofalltweetsgoonumbertwo______BlazedDonuts______CrystalMoonableJayDirt___________
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    Thanks for sharing your moon with me on Instagram. We don't have a moon where I live.

    • 1,646
    • FAVS
    theDanLawlerjennapainter28onume__tessimistichungary_eyes1kick1hat1snaredjskill3tBouwmanRachel
    • 722
    • RETWEETS
    TallGlassOTallhungary_eyesdjskill3tlucy_nyholm123loise_ndirituQerwy_mike_kariukiLizzmbuvi
    Sarcasticsapien
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    If I don't return 17 calls,9 texts,& 7 emails, it's safe to assume you've been blown off & bumped up to Borderline Stalker Status. Sorry Mom

    • 1,767
    • FAVS
    onume_Whoopdeedoo22KirstensDeskorlandoM321alwayzintrubleSmartassChefTheLouScannonloribuckmajor
    • 568
    • RETWEETS
    KhaleddAhmedSmartassChefJSLauderdalemovinmeatheathercamfftasteful_nudesholly_raganRichHarris2
    NinjaFuneral______ThateverydayguyHome_HalfwaySeanInCypressthetobbieezeddalyletsdancebitchsMaui_SpeaksdannydogmouthLicoriceNipples______Coastiefish
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    My gal pal: "Are you on a diet? You look so nice & thin... What's you're secret?!"

    Me: "Poverty."

    • 1,562
    • FAVS
    onume_Whoopdeedoo22GemmaRaphaelKhaleddAhmedSmartassChefJSLauderdaleEves1loribuckmajor
    • 664
    • RETWEETS
    KhaleddAhmedSmartassChefJSLauderdaleaarohi_25FaranasDhauriclumsy_singhSir_Strangejover_loint
    jlane_Mr_0rang3crayan9SergioValenCoMaui_Speaksshatty48
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    “I’m working on it.” = Haven’t done shit

    • 1,404
    • FAVS
    onume_ursulakoenigRJ0528maconthemooseDarylchWhoopdeedoo22KhaleddAhmedepiphany333
    • 723
    • RETWEETS
    dirtydishtowelsNouran_AliMonaFarrag6KhaleddAhmedawaykashardimAmaniderellaepiphany333roarulvestad
    GreeneyedMofoezeddalyJoeyPositivityjedfudallylife_suckerMaryKoCoheykarlinedheenan__________slyoung5FSUSteve
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    I’ve discovered, the easiest way to change a flat tire is by not wearing a bra.

    • 1,322
    • FAVS
    onume_TheBigPahuKhaleddAhmed1ratrock1JohnnyGar11silvertongue37SmartassChefabstract_wonder
    • 485
    • RETWEETS
    KhaleddAhmedJohnnyGar11silvertongue37SmartassChefJSLauderdaleTruculent67WhatevaConcBoobsNBuds
    QwertyJones3PeachCoffinanother_lisaTheAlexNevilkamiekaymee__zoeklarJandalize
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    If you get pulled over in a Smart Car for speeding, you should get a standing ovation, not a ticket.

    • 1,282
    • FAVS
    sockher_momWhoopdeedoo22SmartassChefJSLauderdalePaxochkaKonradnySimolaJlucaspradoa
    • 473
    • RETWEETS
    KhaleddAhmedNoPekingtheokleinhansjoe_kingsDulithamevmcdpm106WGladstone
    life_suckerUluwatuSiapziploccondom______AgamemNOMNOM
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    I swear to god if this girl doesn't get my coffee order right I'm gonna tip her, drink it anyway & be back again tomorrow.

    • 1,278
    • FAVS
    triangle_onume_Playing_DadsmackinROUMPHsGabbyFoedesydney__micheleunanythingYizzybet
    • 475
    • RETWEETS
    NicoletteSerbusYouCallHimDavermikahsargentpissedoffsamtriciarenee11vicithJenniePowerTali_the_tank
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    The awkward moment when you say, "I love you," then the pizza delivery guy says, "That'll be $12.46, please."

    • 1,300
    • FAVS
    onume_KhaleddAhmedorlandoM321SmartassChefJSLauderdaleEves1MelvinofYorkBrittonCaleb
    • 319
    • RETWEETS
    KhaleddAhmedJohnnyGar11Lexi_GjSmartassChefloribuckmajormax_pad21clumsy_singhSir_Strange
    gigglegirlnoelshegotagronkgingerfaced5haelPawnYourLifenotfaizzyMothpete
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    My son’s field trip consent form lists walkmans & radios under ‘Optional items.’ Where the fuck are they going, 1989??

    • 1,024
    • FAVS
    sockher_momLt_RockHardpavahkIsaJennielavenda_blueSkwerlbaitISeeZombeesmummzy1
    • 508
    • RETWEETS
    KhaleddAhmedpavahkdexbrandonIsaJennielavenda_bluethysa31Thrill_Tweeterwitabif
    bornmiserablelawblobTwiceTheHops
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    I'm like the David Hasselhoff of Twitter. I'm not particularly funny or talented, but they fucking love me in Europe.

    • 1,286
    • FAVS
    onume_1ratrock1WordKitchenDCorlandoM321CaptMerica82dancerindangerSmartassChefEves1
    • 235
    • RETWEETS
    dancerindangerSmartassChefJSLauderdalemax_pad21Squizbotpseudo_freddavid_tullMeccaBrooks
    Stellacopterthe_couch_guy____jrogasm__________JonCantTweet__Carmel_ColemanCoastiefish
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    Angry people who can’t take a joke have no idea how hilarious they are to those of us who can.

    • 1,045
    • FAVS
    onume_TotallyStableMaged2404HappyHijabbiJo_PureLife1ratrock1SmartassChefjudylp3447
    • 472
    • RETWEETS
    teddybearjaiMaged2404HappyHijabbiKhaleddAhmedFoneboneJayJo_PureLifeSmartassChefSkyHighShuffle
    ArroiaVividJamerScigglez__________MrStaggsMiahSaintBaconHuffer
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    Guys, when us girls travel in packs to the ladies' room, we are ripping our clothes off, rubbing our bodies together & making out. Busted.

    • 1,147
    • FAVS
    ItsjusKimberlyeve_edd3TheTermiNathanMessyFingerssimpsrichhaykshanzami_singsonBwanaChris
    • 358
    • RETWEETS
    KhaleddAhmedCITYLONDONMEDIABINGBINGDELIGHTThrill_TweeterbcfuckuPaigemursetsixfootcandytreydayway__
    Jenny4ashleyMasterOfFuryNikiWithIssuesFadeAway2
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    Growing up, we had twerking too, except it was called 'That girl isn’t right in the head.’

    • 763
    • FAVS
    jover_lointhaykshanValerijaLapuhsixfootcandychriscoombs668FilmatelistKaylaKFosterBruppFWTX
    • 732
    • RETWEETS
    KhaleddAhmedKaylaKFosterKrazydiamond81JSLauderdalespiraled_awayUrSassy_GingerSquizbotchar_m26
    Thrill_TweeterKendragardenDontFuckWithMom
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    Supercuts is one step away from handing you the scissors & saying, “Here, you fix it.”

    • 1,115
    • FAVS
    AndLive2LoveCorinneGameswhatitis112swetha_dasarixxkatcollinsxxAllyMayhew123ambbbEarlWallace44
    • 375
    • RETWEETS
    KhaleddAhmediokl10Im_CatgirlLMedina951Marv_Cant_EvenAllTime_TessaalysortLMFaye
    FatuousFloozy__
  • SCbchbum
      Erica @SCbchbum

    Nothing snaps a woman into full blown CSI mode faster than an unfamiliar ponytail holder in her car.

    • 1,026
    • FAVS
    Juan_Incognitojcc1223erinmallorylongTwistedCrazzyibid78SouthernFitLifeIShawndellEves1
    • 330
    • RETWEETS
    KhaleddAhmedCaliGrown071loribuckmajorThrill_TweeterSquizbotspiraled_awaypseudo_frede21_2007
    bazlyonschopper4jkBDGarp
@SCbchbum

@SCbchbum

Got 86'd from Whole Foods for showering