Twitter is on fire tonight. I thank all those who spent there Friday night tweeting funny shit instead of partying for all my lols at work

My smile is ugly as fuck.

When I feel like shit all day, nothin cheers me up more that talking about my job to my friends that work at mcdonalds

Fuck today. And fuck yesturday too. And most likely fuck tomarow.

Why are these German kids so damn good at Battlefield?

I need some good inspiration to hit the gym. So far this membership is turning into a way of paying for a nice key fob.

Day isn't even halfway over and I already plan on needing a rum and coke when I get home.

I wanna write a book. Next time I got a good high or buzz going I'm gunna sit down and just let some shit flow.

Just had myself a double meal at DQ. And sadly already looking to go back for more food.

I was on a pretty damn good diet here but today I'm eating the fuck out of some fried chicken.

RT @bulls_horns It still amazes me that you need a license to catch a fish but any asshole can be a parent.

I love that Capital One still sends me emails like I actualy acknowlegde my debt to them.

I hate automatic flushing toilets that flush on you mid shit

Fuck I havnt gotten around to calling up any relatatives yet to wish them a happy thanksgiving.

I'm in the mood to punch a fag

Why do people who work in auto shops 90% of the time come off like they could give a fuck less if they fixed your car?

All I could eat wings turned out to be only 13. Only in America could you be upset to be less of a fat ass than others.

As always right before it's bedtime my brain goes fucking wild with all these ideas to stay up working on. Then I'm brain dead all day.

Waiting all day for something that's supposed to happen but it doesn't. Feels real shitty.

@noogscorner true. I watch pro wrestling and was just called creepy looking the other day...