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Remember not being tired? No. Me neither.
Hi new followers! Put on your seat belts. This ain't Disney.
When 8 yr old says, "Will you still be angry if I tell the truth?" Brace yourself.
Dear people who call me,
There's a reason I'm on Twitter.
Relationship status: 7 year old banging fists on my back to get me to feed him is my version of a free massage.
Taking my boys to the pool now. This is the part where I hope all the people at the pool had fun today because its about to end for them.
Someone put my toaster setting on 6. I just made 2 hockey pucks.
Relationship status: I just sneezed on my iPhone and apologized to it.
I like to open my garage door when people walk near my house.
Kids who wake themselves up & get ready for school: When is that upgrade coming out?
Is it wrong to say my 10 yr old son can be a real dick? If so, I won't say it.
If we "fall back" a couple more hours, I could be a morning person.
If I was a Barbie doll, I would be Carbie Barbie.
Insomnia is the new black.
My age is: Does Cracker Barrel have wine?
I took the clothes out of the dryer so they won't get moldy. Now they're gonna get wrinkled because I set my goals too high earlier.
I did yoga in my driveway for 5 minutes so my life expectancy is 5 years longer? Is that how yoga works?
Told my sons: "I peed when I sneezed. Make sure you tell all your friends as always. But not their dads."
I need my own theme song.
Funny & Proud mom of 3 boys under 10. Social Marketing Manager/Educator for hire• Brand Ambassador• Boca Raton, FL 561-239-1449