Your pets called. They hate the elf costumes. :(

Out of order. Try later.

Wisdom is great. I'll take it whenever and wherever I can acquire it. Hallmark cards, Fortune cookies, mad scribblings on walls...Twitter!?

Nobody gives a rat's ass about your horoscope.

The world crumbles around some couples but they stay together because they love being a team. They won't be crippled by free agency. Team.

let's crash cars together.

If I could only mirror for you your own beauty, you would be astounded.

I have the whole bed to myself, just the way I fucking hate it.

If one labia was larger than the other, you could do a labia combover and never have to worry about camel toe.

Don't order the fruitcake when you really want crème brûlée.

In other words, don't ever fucking settle.

It's easier to be the one leaving than it is to be the one being left.

I see how wonderful you are when you don't even know I am looking.

It makes me both sad and happy when I think about never meeting some of you in person.

Grab onto my ass, Lover... and... let... me... love... you.

Know that no matter how spent my body is, exhausted and depleted..

There will never be a time that I'm too tired to take you.

The more you give me, the more addicted I am.

Was that sci-fi sex we just had? Whoa!

Cuddling with my sleepy kid is my crack.

my gang sign is my "middle finger,,fuckers

Will you be a perfect parent? No. will your children be perfect? No. Will they believe you love & accept them for who they are? I hope so.