Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Twitter is like a safe haven for insomniacs, addicts, alcoholics and nymphos. I feel like I've met the family I always wanted. I am home.
Honesty is the best policy but insanity is the best defense.
I'm losing a lot of followers recently...
Did you guys not get the memo? I don't have to be funny, I have a vagina.
Therefore, I am Iron Man.
I'm so cool I give head with my shades on.
A true friend stabs you in the front.
I'm not so good with advice...
Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Am I the only one that has to read every tweet on my TL, or feel like I've missed some important life event?
Ok, I may need Twitter rehab.
If Life gives you lemons, something something, commit felonies.
As your cum drips down my leg, I pop a morning after pill to kill the love child that may have been.
Can someone PLEASE fuck me and/or give me lots of $ and NOT catch feelings for me?Think I'm pretty done with feelings, you all should be too
Valium and I'm gone...
Life is short, so let's hope your dick isn't. ;)
#YouKnowTheSexGood when you walk like a newborn baby giraffe afterwards.
I am Anxiety Girl! Able to jump to the worst conclusion in a single bound!
Have you ever looked at a couple and thought to yourself "That has got to be some terribly ugly sex."?
New rule: If I can't remember saying it, you can't hold it against me.
I want to get to 900 followers by Xmas, so excuse me for a moment.
Interracial midget porn
Just played "What the fuck does that say?" with the captcha.
Text me, don't call me.
It's a rare occasion where I actually want to hear a human voice...
Voted most likely to be awesome. Retired rolling stone, spoiled rotten, baby maker extraordinaire.