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Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • SamGrittner
      Sam Grittner @SamGrittner

    Gift @SamGrittner Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 9,559
    • FAVS
    Henry_DeGrootCullenCochranaliciaa_kanemr_anal_boyforeveratoastermattmcconnell44kiwikyuLiviart123
    • 4,052
    • RETWEETS
    lizzymcarthurFlSCHERMANasex_edmach_pizzaReonSkyridgeSHADOWFUCKER69edcunninghamskrunchykes
    ibid78DanMentosWhatevaConcEenfidelewfeez
  • SamGrittner
      Sam Grittner @SamGrittner

    GUYS: Nervous about flirting with a woman? Just remember: they're smart, confident, and aware they don't need us, so you should be worried.

    • 8,447
    • FAVS
    canadasandradernachtwachterYour_Offender8rustystaplesBumpinGemzonebigmacpleasedeejanabananaMushrooQueendom
    • 5,024
    • RETWEETS
    JosueDe49273464YogicRunnerdernachtwachterYour_Offender8rustystaplesBumpinGemzgrateful_eavesbabes_
    SteveDutzy
  • SamGrittner
      Sam Grittner @SamGrittner

    I'm God's gift to women if he stopped at a gas station last minute.

    • 7,208
    • FAVS
    BKomo09Cyd10ePeepsMagooncarp007sumbodysbabygrlFunnyBoneClubsLeavittKatbonjourlindsay
    • 3,452
    • RETWEETS
    hilleladlerCyd10ePeepsMagooSloppileesumbodysbabygrlLeavittKat44shadesofgrayBillstrat7
    LeahKnauerDonnie_FairburnCVTBabyPeachCoffinLostCatDogDryDickRandopattymoErik_AllenTrueQuixoteCorbblah__________SCbchbumjonnysunUNTRESOR
  • SamGrittner
      Sam Grittner @SamGrittner

    20s: I got my whole life ahead of me!
    30s: What the dick happened where is time going
    40s: FUCK
    50s: Fuck it
    60s: Neat my skin's translucent

    • 6,529
    • FAVS
    poska_evandiananoskovapearlynomiabstract_wonderdrtacomonsterMomCantSingGabby769Kriskashanacauley
    • 3,078
    • RETWEETS
    kaitbmoneymakerjdnATLThatBrenna_ADAMMM_rlinevatieyKkylesbehonestBrady8693
    UNTRESOR
  • SamGrittner
      Sam Grittner @SamGrittner

    Want to buy a gun? Cool. Promise you're not crazy. Promise? Cool. Want birth control? Whoa, lady. Let me ask five old dudes real slow first

    • 5,110
    • FAVS
    SackopathJaceTylerXXX_desoladaNikiWithIssuesEthan_Franks27t4yl0r_isshortStephenGuyyaKhalifa101
    • 3,771
    • RETWEETS
    Sackopathallytwatt4yl0r_isshortAnnaSpainsheljoeyerrrnahatieyKa_donna
    Karate_Horse
  • SamGrittner
      Sam Grittner @SamGrittner

    If Google ever goes down and stays down, I'm fucked. I know four facts and they're all about elephants and I already forgot three of them.

    • 5,827
    • FAVS
    alanhoundAustinLepleyAliGator526lexitwissterclaireshanersara_gingerbeetheabairMelanieBODY
    • 2,734
    • RETWEETS
    LifeSucks1789alanhoundTVande5Travis_baum_lenabeanMelanieBODYmiawalshhtjcirimele
  • SamGrittner
      Sam Grittner @SamGrittner

    POLICE OFFICER: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
    ME: "Because you know I love riddles."

    • 5,368
    • FAVS
    PadillaEugenebungalowbernardslacks_stacksDustytextCanesgirl15ceckyborbinwtfmanlolCongdon11
    • 2,668
    • RETWEETS
    djcozmikanjelica_14theegreatoneKali__katBMalone71cpmcgarrycsiwak57nahtE_kramllaH
  • SamGrittner
      Sam Grittner @SamGrittner

    "Son, when I was your age we had to walk 50 miles uphill, in the snow with no shoes just to find out if hot, local singles were in the area"

    • 4,670
    • FAVS
    kdrozermichael_meowmixReallyfamoussVanilla_cupcakImDylanFogleedOG5585Denise_Feruniseesplitrun
    • 2,700
    • RETWEETS
    melissanicole29kdrozerBarryHartiganVanilla_cupcakedOG5585histwaddleaKhalifa101wheeler1972
    Michael_ErhartSteveDutzy
  • SamGrittner
      Sam Grittner @SamGrittner

    *loses touch with reality*
    *awkwardly runs into reality at the grocery store*
    R: "So... how are things?"
    ME: "I'm growing tigers in my car."

    • 5,111
    • FAVS
    _jamielynne9hockeyfanphxwhedonist4lifej_anyanwuKayleeLBBHnicolinab58mattmcconnell44tommydahl
    • 2,257
    • RETWEETS
    bmwash374MPAVictoriakaorihamRob_CohNerdyWonkaCarolMaeWYnicolinab58FlSCHERMAN
  • SamGrittner
      Sam Grittner @SamGrittner

    if a woman tells me she just wants be friends I say ok but I get to be rachel

    • 5,006
    • FAVS
    O_FromThe6julie_mccormHannahLendinojonas_hanssonbreyonceeeNBPride5samstonebarrettSoGoFu
    • 2,357
    • RETWEETS
    Rynhardt152Alejandraortigkyraarobertssavannah_ailiffspurtemusSoGoFuVanilla_cupcakKetchTime
  • SamGrittner
      Sam Grittner @SamGrittner

    Earthquakes only happen when Johnny Depp breaks eye contact with Tim Burton.

    • 3,113
    • FAVS
    NikiWithIssuesFarcMuscoEthan_Franks27t4yl0r_isshortStephenGuyyaKhalifa101_cazbazbloodcrystal
    • 2,595
    • RETWEETS
    kahunaburgrFarcMuscosdemke5IEatChawalpugilophileJoewagosimiamomo_GenghisK
    bloptBenesh_curlycomedyErik_AllenThisAlexSteinKKAlThanirobdelaney
  • SamGrittner
      Sam Grittner @SamGrittner

    "The end." - Quentin Tarantino starting a bedtime story

    • 2,747
    • FAVS
    lavendergoombs7Ninth_Wonderchirp_derpharshi89codyrarnablakoejoshzrosekardeschian
    • 1,446
    • RETWEETS
    BlurtOutBabukoquettisht4yl0r_isshortthebigG_69NotoriousJhoodoatmaster33kirkleblanc40KearnsLeanne
    tastefactory
  • SamGrittner
      Sam Grittner @SamGrittner

    "PUT DOWN THE GUN!"
    "Gun, you ugly and come from a broken home."
    "THAT WAS PERFECT BUT PHYSICALLY PUT IT DOWN."

    • 2,724
    • FAVS
    carleennewton21HollyBeezyIshmamTBrittany3245Denise_FeruniaKhalifa101AbbeyRutherfordChalupacabra__
    • 1,298
    • RETWEETS
    aKhalifa101martinezkeiriLaurenKlichmattsurelysomethnsomethnteeshirtdesignzmobileautobody2EstherCW
    ibid78
  • SamGrittner
      Sam Grittner @SamGrittner

    If you're outraged by free music on your phone just wait until you hear about literally anything else

    • 2,472
    • FAVS
    vivalacrap_troyjohnsononume_drunkwhitebae666hello666BlackwatchPlaidSDPlissken1robbiegowdy
    • 1,456
    • RETWEETS
    AskkMeAgainnaveeniiumonume_bullitt6454ITuoheyLMills_KaitlinM_KatsClancy_Pru
    redherringbear
  • SamGrittner
      Sam Grittner @SamGrittner

    When a woman asks me how long I can last in bed I tell her it depends on how long someone brings me food and water but probably years.

    • 2,733
    • FAVS
    MBiles_onume_Ben_MillarLongHairedNiggaold_n_highMs_Xtinakrishna_vanVanilla_cupcak
    • 1,152
    • RETWEETS
    carol_kawiraonume_old_n_highMs_Xtinakrishna_vanMackenzie____JimMarshall007Vanilla_cupcak
    Mike_BianchiOldUncleDaveOadamrenschrobfeeUNTRESORcravenheart______
  • SamGrittner
      Sam Grittner @SamGrittner

    *goes to housewarming party*
    *turns up thermostat*
    *leaves*

    • 2,549
    • FAVS
    Vanilla_cupcakGeez_PathanDenise_FeruniaKhalifa101___dingodopkenzonume_drunkwhitebae
    • 1,114
    • RETWEETS
    blue_stockingVanilla_cupcakGazelleAtLargeabjohnson52Naughtybits247aKhalifa101___dingoonume_
  • SamGrittner
      Sam Grittner @SamGrittner

    When he turns 85, rapper T.I. will turn into a graphing calculator.

    • 1,836
    • FAVS
    aKhalifa101meekrabscloudypianosPaulyMoshSlyPinkspyMrJack5150ExitThaWarriorforrest_del
    • 1,744
    • RETWEETS
    ExitThaWarriorWTFisSwaggerAxholetheGreatPalidoConPecasdreamthievinAndrewBrauerDw_ghtHunsuckr
    hamspamtymaamOhNoSheTwitntErik_Allen
  • SamGrittner
      Sam Grittner @SamGrittner

    Any pizza is personal if it killed your father

    • 2,152
    • FAVS
    themjkelleyteaotehuiaAnorexicanSrfbortpleatherface24ryantpowellryanabusaidibbarb74
    • 982
    • RETWEETS
    scrappledogkiley_stokesAlanaMatteiBurningPalmsyChodeCommanderimfrickenjimSidusNovachelleari
    murrman5BigE_Smooth______Erik_Allen
  • SamGrittner
      Sam Grittner @SamGrittner

    Imagine liking someone enough to answer their phone call

    • 1,865
    • FAVS
    leifromloihiaKhalifa101___dingoSirEvisceratedreamthievinthetokengurlwenramenKayShaffer95
    • 1,217
    • RETWEETS
    youngmeerimchris_montoyazachv86SpencerTuckersandwichJOYsickxfme__shaunajanae27Sandra_Di_
    Erik_Allen
  • SamGrittner
      Sam Grittner @SamGrittner

    "What is this?"
    "That's a rainbow, Mr. Putin."
    "Tear down the sky."
    "Sir, you can't possib-
    *gun clicks*
    "Tear. It. Down."

    • 1,513
    • FAVS
    MoneypennyNakedanadanielagcP_B_J_SandwichSteveDutzyaKhalifa101APaintedMindpartiallyproSirEviscerate
    • 1,522
    • RETWEETS
    SteveDutzyAPaintedMindstrunkmfDahFahQusaysjmmurdockkr0plingandreavirtaviktoriaaw
    Eenfidelblopt
@SamGrittner

@SamGrittner

Lead Writer, http://www.InternetActionForce.com @InternetAction @TonightonGIRLS Instagram: samgrittner

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