I nominate @fauxjohnmadden for a Shorty Award in #fakeaccount because he is genius and is a laugh every time. http://t.co/tJPZwAZE

He puts the lotion on the skin #Seahawks RT @30acrefortress Remember that existing FB Mike Robinson has soft hands and was QB at Penn State.

@robdelaney Picture this: You, me, just two dudes ergoing our kids and eating frozen yogurt. No big deal.

My kid loves to tickle me. But he's 2.5 and is really bad at it, so I pretend it tickles. We're living a lie.

Best convo I've seen on Twitter in awhile, complete with AIDS-healing jazz hands. @color_me_sad pic.twitter.com/HtJ2bVw44m

Game day, I know you're all excited you beautiful sonsabitches! #Seahawks #GoHawks

If the cup has a crack, the test is whack! #FreeSherm @dannyoneil

Pinteresting #NewGirlScoutPatches

@mirkinsane be right there.

And washing your hair? RT @jaismiles: Some people don't get the fucking concept that when you are sick you are sick. #givemeadamnbreak

No clue. I'm not usually in them but they fascinate me. @mirkinsane: twitter cliques are fucking weird how does this happen?

@mirkinsane xanax backwards is xanax.

The best thing would be for Tebow to not get picked up by a team so we can stop hearing about him. Here comes all day coverage. Eff.

@mirkinsane RIP tight jay-jay.

@mirkinsane I like my women tanned. ... On a rack. It puts the lotion on its skin.

I could use some boob hugs.

@mirkinsane that's a large beer.

@jaismiles his chin is a little warped in this pic. Lol.

@jaismiles ow.

@scrubs24 @jaismiles rofl I thought the same as Shawn. Though my life is rather drama free pretty much always.