If you're going to stalk my photos at least like one.

So excited to get my nerdlicious glasses tomorrow! 😁
#warbyparker

I wish I could be like everyone else who hates their life but at least has funny tweets... Mine are just pathetic & lame. *sigh*

I love how suddenly when someone sees that you're happy they want to be your friend, but didn't give two shits when you were depressed. Hmmm

Does anyone else's GPS try to kill them?? Sometimes instead of home it takes me to casinos too... It's behavior is not acceptable...

I may, or may not be, stalking a bum...

If I ever get into a car accident, it will be because of a spider... Or sneezing.

I need to stop caring what dumb people think about me. It's like caring what a chicken nugget thinks about you...

#thoughtswhilelayinginbedhomealone what if aliens abduct me, what if ghosts attack me, & what if rapists rape me??!!!

I Just finished the box of dozen krispy kreme donuts I got the other day... I'm a fatty at heart.

oh mom, you're banging on my door trying to get my attention? Sorry, I'll just shove my earbuds into me ear further & the music up.

Going to be limping all day... Having a liter of coke drop on your foot when you're drunk still hurts pretty damn bad...

@warbyparkerhelp. Me in the middle with my new #warbyparker Linwoods :) pic.twitter.com/hxXI2xclk6

Someone bring me Wendy's so I can smoosh it in your face.

I've been laying here for so long trying to fall asleep & now I'm hungry again, but too lazy to get anything. Damnit!!

My tweets, as of lately, are lame. I need a life or better imagination

I have a sudden fear there is going to be a cicada in my bean burrito. #barf

What have I learned from going to the ER? Never go there if you're dying because no one really gives a shit & you'll probably just die.

Bunny giving mark kisses.. Hah :) http://twitvid.com/6E5B1

Ohh nooo I was too drunk to harvest my crops on farmville last night :((.