Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
It's ok if you put me on a pedestal. I like being high.
If life was fair, Goose wouldn't have died in Top Gun.
Only in America would they name a state after a bucket of fried chicken.
Sometimes I just need someone to hold me.
Up against the wall.
And fuck the living daylight out of me.
Some dude helped me move my new couch into my apartment & I feel bad because he threw his shoulder out. Of my window. Cuz leprosy.
Anal sex hurts, butt fuck it.
I give every guy that wakes up in my bed morning wood.
"Morning would you get the fuck out of my house now?"
I've been seeing Stevie Wonder for like 30 years. He has no idea.
If u give up smoking, drinking, and sex.....u don't live longer. It just SEEMS longer.
Every person you have ever known and loved has let you down? Maybe the problem isn't them.
To avoid any confusion, fuck off.
What gives me comfort at night, is knowing that you're someone else's problem now.
Someone just told me to get a life. So I took theirs. NEXT.
5 out of 6 people enjoy playing Russian Roulette.
My favorite sexual position is the one where your penis goes into my vagina. Or bhole. Or mouth. Or ear. Or my BFF.
LOLJK about the ear.
Death should be quick and painless. You know. The opposite of how anal sex is your first time.
My boss just farted. I asked him if he was trying to get the condom out. He's mad now.
Broke up with my vibrator today. I mean, we're still gonna fuck. No more feelings from now on, though.
It's not Twitter I'm addicted to. It's the people on Twitter.
What do I wanna be when I grow up????
When it all comes down to it...Im funnier than u. If u dont like me, kick fucking rocks. Casey Lee owns me. My drug dealer is @shellyspivey