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I'm actually doing something with my life, I'm ruining it.
Be gentle with her and she'll be gentle on your car doors.
Life tip: don't get attached.
My favorite family member is the Wi-fi.
I always know the perfect thing to say in an argument...
3 days later.
There's no toilet seat like home's.
For guys it's just an emoji, For girls it's The Da Vinci code.
Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.
Fool me 9875 times, you must be really HOT !!!
The only exercise I do is running out of time and money.
Beliebers are more likely to be Nazis. think about it, they all worship a short man who talks shit and can't grow a proper mustache.
Guys stop using
"بردانه؟ ادفيكي "
And start using
"جوعانه؟ اجيب لك اكل "
And you'll get lucky.
1- Dig a hole.
2- Name it "love".
3- Fall in it.
[ Congrats now you fell in love.]
"What's for dinner?" - Me as soon as I finish lunch.
Don't fall in love, fall asleep.
Guys, if she talks less than you do, marry her.
Just kidding, She's an alien.... or used to be a man.
My life is a romantic comedy, except there's no romance and it's not exactly funny.
Men need to stop trying to figure women out. You're wasting your time. We don't even understand ourselves.
If I die in my sleep please tell everyone I died doing something I love.
The first sign of winning an argument is simply having boobs.