are ride or die the only options

me: "grande vanilla latte" girl behind me: "grande vanilla latte with an extra shot" WHOA OKAY BITCH

i just want to be a part of all the hugging that goes on during the credits at the end of SNL

calories dont count when you're drunk, hungover, PMSing, on national holidays, if you had a salad that day, or on sundays (bc of God)

JESUS HAS RISEN ! *if it lasts for more than 4 hours, please see a doctor

live every day like it's a season finale on the CW

On October 3rd, he asked me what day it was. "It's October 3rd."

malcolm in the middle of the human centipede #depressingsitcoms

I use "gurl" as a gender neutral pronoun

facebook friend Rachel is sick and tired of being sick and tired :( I will keep you guys updated on Rachel's situation

the "education" section of James Franco's wikipedia page is my favorite Onion article

i want wheelchair jimmy to murder my vagina

so so SO horrible, but dont let the sickening actions of 1 person shade ur perception of the world- theres still so much good&love out there

so then is america looking for a new sweetheart now bc i am available

God help the man I just gave directions to

someone just faved 11 of my tweets and then didn't follow me HEY WAIT IS THIS A METAPHOR FOR DATING IN COLLEGE

ATTN class pls be respectful during my presentation &by that I mean please do not pay attention to me at all or ask any follow up questions.

I can't wait for Rob Kardashian's sock collection to come out

HEY LADIES if you hover pee bc the seat is gross, you are also the one making the seat gross. End the cycle of violence today!!!

. @barackobama my formal is the same night as the midnight showing of the new twilight movie can u fix this plz im voting 4 u