People with small feet wear mini vans

If your sign isn't ripped to shit and covered in blood, you're not protesting properly

I feel like we should be at a point in our evolution as humans that waterproof socks would be a thing by now

Our hands touched in the potato wedge box and I knew it was for real

Band practice  http://youtu.be/oYriioLCsQ0 

I have mixed feelings about blenders

I may not have school tomorrow but I'll still wake up with class

Super crawl is a super hero with cerebral palsy I think

I hate it when autocorrect changes my "hahahaha" to "hahahahaha" like, it wasn't THAT funny

If Jimmy had 4 carrots and Sally had 7, why was Jimmy's dad such an alcoholic?

The gang + James! http://t.co/7vUAJNxw

Shawn Lubinskis hair is so big because it's full of secrets

Free excuses for handing in homework late:
-Dog lost its hands
-Family lost their hands
-You lost your hands
-Gone With The Wind was on

I don't usually subtweet, but omg you guys, 6 inch chicken teriyaki on flat bread toasted with extra banana peppers.

So weird how everyone who unfollows me wakes up the next morning to their family being brutally murdered by a very angry flock of doves :S

You'd think babies would be weirder after spending 9 months in solitary confinement

"Wanna go clubbing?" - teens in Nunavut

Everyone look this is my friend @maggiebaker_xo when she was in grade 10 let's all laugh together http://t.co/M18gtMnv

The worst part about short term memory loss is the worst part about short term memory loss is the worst part about short term memory loss is

I hope it snows tonight so that we have a snow day tomorrow.