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Pandora. The cousin of Google search.
ME: Play Nirvana.
PANDORA: I have the PERFECT song. *plays Celine Dion*
Just saw a list named "daddys" on a porn star's Twitter. I'm just glad Twitter can give her something that her mom apparently couldn't.
It takes two ex's to make your life a living hell and XXX to cum on your computer screen.
Just peed one of those pees where I pinched myself to make sure I was awake. Turns out, pinching still hurts when you're sleeping.
Using someone else's material doesn't make you funny. However, in some cases, it does make you a drag queen.
Keep this in mind when reading my jokes: My only question to God would be what color is clear?