Tom Cruise chose Dubai over Riyadh for Mission Impossible 4 because jumping off Burj Khalifa is easier task than trying to enter a mall.

"I want to move to Saudi and live the Saudi dream." - An Australian camel.

Best thing about marriage the Saudi way is that you won't need seven seasons to tell YOUR FUCKIN' KIDS HOW YOU MET THEIR FUCKIN' MOTHER.

Women are like diamonds. They can't drive. (Saudi proverb)

REMINDER:

The 1st rule of Saudi Fight Club is fek w afek.

The 2nd rule of Saudi Fight Club is yelling fekoni 3leh means DO NOT let me go.

Roses are red, violets are blue, you're totally fucked, Alhay2a is behind you. #SaudiValentine

"Let them eat teben." - Marie Antoinette Al Saud.

Saudis on Twitter:

Women: We want our rights.

Men: Women should get their rights.

Me: THERE'RE WOMEN IN OUR COUNTRY??!!!!

We were waiting for Albaik and you give us #AlNassrStore!?! Really, Riyadh? WHAT THE HELL DID WE DO TO DESERVE THIS?

In the mosque there was a guy playing on his iPhone during khutbah!!!

I swear I was about to beat him up with my iPad.

Women! Can't live with 'em, can't enter the mall without 'em.

Warning: Visiting this site MAY harm your computer. *Quick clicks X*

Warning: Smoking IS a main cause of lung cancer. *Smokes a pack a day*

UAE ministers are using iPad? So what? Majlis AlShura members have been using Apple products for years now, like iDontgiveashit & iDontcare.

If you watch #ArabIdol in HD you can see Ahlam's inner child screaming for help.

My father: What's your Twitter name?

Me: How much do you get paid?

My father: Let's pretend we never had this conversation, ok?

Me: Ok.

It's funny how we have four seasons hotel but only two seasons weather.

Saudi women are like movie theaters, I only see them when I'm abroad.

"Let's not talk about this, please. I've kids and elderly parents, I need my job." - Siri, when I asked who's @mujtahidd?

I see you driving round town with the girl I love and I'm like 'I'm gonna call Alhay2a'.

Women call me "sheep," religious men "werewolf," my dad "ya 7mar," and yet they wonder why I'm so confused!!

I mean #WhichAnimalAmIExactly?