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In the mosque there was a guy playing on his iPhone during khutbah!!!
I swear I was about to beat him up with my iPad.
When I'm talking to a mutawa I like to throw in the word 'women' here & there to keep their attention.
"WE SUCK!" - Proud mosquitoes. Or #Alnassr players.
"Black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow." (Me in the cab back seat staring sadly at striped pavements)
It's funny how we have four seasons hotel but only two seasons weather.
Women! Can't live with 'em, can't enter the mall without 'em.
UAE ministers are using iPad? So what? Majlis AlShura members have been using Apple products for years now, like iDontgiveashit & iDontcare.
Someone should remind Bashar that Al-Gaddafi who's Africa's king of kings ended up being fingered by his people.
When someone start tweeting about unfollowers/followers, press their unfollow button.
This tweet doesn't count, stupid. Now press it again.
Dear women, you can't say you're the only ones who've it rough in this country. We mean, come on! We live here too. Sincerely, Alnassr fans.
Got caught by Saher then received a text message that reads "What a shitty car LOL."
Holding girls' hands at Kingdom tower's sky bridge and whisper "You met me at a very strange time in my life" is why I got banned for life.
Can't tell when people stop & stare at me is because I'm handsome or they somehow know I'm so dead inside & are taking a moment of silence.
I'm glad my boss can't hear the voices in my head after I say "good morning, boss."
Don't judge a book by its cover, judge the whole Riyadh Book Fair before it even started.
Sex tape or it didn't happen. #KimDatingSaudiBillionaire
"Eh, whatever." - The angel on my right shoulder whenever the devil on my left shoulder is giving me evil advice.