Seize the *day!

*Me.

:(

I am officially on Twitter! I won’t be posting a lot, but look forward to sharing with you.”

BREAKING: Karl Rove says he is sure that Boston will get only a few flurries.

"I'm going to take a stab at this SuperBowl!" - Ray Lewis

#Falcons and former #Chiefs TE Tony Gonzalez says he will retire, ending a 16-year career.

In a stunning role reversal, Atlanta burns Sherman. #TheSouthWillRiseUpAgain

Me. Every time Romo throws a pick:  http://youtu.be/xCoD-TELD0A 

I'd probably enjoy Christmas music if more of the songs were about me.

Attention #Auburn - Kristi Malzahn is coming.... She's a bit like Michelle Bachmann, with a heterosexual husband. #PrepareForHurricaneCrazy

I feel so bad for Auburn fans. Not because of Gus Malzahn...but because it means that once again, they have to deal with Kristi Malzahn.

Thanksgiving leftovers taste best three hours later.

Adele and Taylor Swift should date each other, break up and then sing a duet about it.

If the GOP doesn't purge the birthers, homophobes & climate change deniers in its ranks then it can kiss the 21st century goodbye.

University Of Alabama Names First Woman President  http://n.pr/RwGm7U 

I hope Donald Trump knows there's nothing he could reveal that's as bad as being Donald Trump.

Cam Newton was wearing a sweater made out of genuine Canadian squirrel fur in that post game interview.

When did he run his fingers through your hair? RT @realdonaldtrump Obama is our unlucky President. Everything he touches turns into a mess.

*on the phone with one of my gay Republican friends*...hold on, I can't hear you, I'm at a Klan rally helping them put a cross on my lawn.

*erases "SEC Championship" in pencil from calendar...rewrites with Sharpie*