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Looks like it's fuck this shit o'clock.
Because it's easier than thinking.
I'm currently in between Tweets right now.
I see humans but no humanity.
Fuck you, unfollower.
You don't deserve my tweets.
Me: I'm actually happy right now.
Life: Lol one sec.
I saw some ducks making teenage girls faces.
If I die, how will my Twitter friends find out?
Twitter crushes are kinda great. Pointless, but great.
My first thought when I joined Twitter: "So I'm not the only one"
Elephant: "Why do you have boobs on your back?"
Camel: "That's a stupid question coming from someone who has a penis on his face."
Shit happens. I mean look at you.
I can tell by your sarcastic undertones, rude comments, and sheer lack of common decency, that you and I could be best friends
"bums or boobs?" 'neither I want her heart' CHOO CHOO ALL ABOARD THE FAGGOT TRAIN
Just once I would love to tell someone how fucking ugly their baby actually is.
Fuck you. Just fuck you.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue represent freedom until they are flashing behind you.
Always be yourself. Unless you can be Spider-Man. Then always be Spider-Man.
Romantic comedies and cuddling? No thanks, I'd rather watch horror movies and have sex.