Looks like it's fuck this shit o'clock.

Google.

Because it's easier than thinking.

Fuck yeah. http://t.co/awXdQBEv

I'm currently in between Tweets right now.

I see humans but no humanity.

Fuck you, unfollower.

You don't deserve my tweets.

Me: I'm actually happy right now.
Life: Lol one sec.

I saw some ducks making teenage girls faces.

If I die, how will my Twitter friends find out?

Twitter crushes are kinda great. Pointless, but great.

My first thought when I joined Twitter: "So I'm not the only one"

Elephant: "Why do you have boobs on your back?"
Camel: "That's a stupid question coming from someone who has a penis on his face."

Awesome dad. http://t.co/CCy0r0Ks

Shit happens. I mean look at you.

I can tell by your sarcastic undertones, rude comments, and sheer lack of common decency, that you and I could be best friends

"bums or boobs?" 'neither I want her heart' CHOO CHOO ALL ABOARD THE FAGGOT TRAIN

Just once I would love to tell someone how fucking ugly their baby actually is.

Fuck you. Just fuck you.

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue represent freedom until they are flashing behind you.

Always be yourself. Unless you can be Spider-Man. Then always be Spider-Man.