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Anyone who puts "happily married" as their middle name on Facebook doesn't deserve access to the internet.
When people send out excessive amounts of "single and proud" tweets, I assume they spend their Fridays screaming Adele lyrics at their cats.
The fact that Zack Morris is now 38 is such a mind fuck...
The way I see it, if I can't get these skinny jeans off, nor can the rapist.
It turns out that I can't really pull off saying "come at me bro"
If steroids are illegal for athletes then surely photoshop should be illegal for models?
I can't be the only girl who starts to question their sexual orientation when Google image stalking Mila Kunis
Watching the second Sex and the City Movie... want to punch Carrie in the face as always.
"I feel like if we drink before we go out it'll be cheaper"... If you mean that we'll be cheaper then yes, I agree.
Thought YOLO was a frozen yoghurt franchise up until this weekend. This clears up a lot.
Just found out that IRL stands for "in real life" - I thought you were all just meeting up in Ireland.
5 people found my site by googling "how much time can you get for indecent exposure". Does this make me an advocate of drunken nakedness?!
When I grow up I want to be Betty White.
Panic-buying all my Christmas presents whilst still drunk from last night and looking like Tim Burton's wet dream
Walked a used condom through the office on the bottom of my shoe this morning. That’s what you get from taking the ‘quick’ route to work.
The worst thing about being an adult is realising, at no point in the nursery rhyme does is state that Humpty Dumpty is actually an egg...
My fridge has nothing in it but vodka, mayonnaise and half a bag of cold haribo. You'd think I'd feel hard done by - but, vodka.
My 'party piece' is getting blackout drunk and lying to strangers.
My freestyle rap career didn't work out, so I made a blog instead...