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Anyone who puts "happily married" as their middle name on Facebook doesn't deserve access to the internet.
When people send out excessive amounts of "single and proud" tweets, I assume they spend their Fridays screaming Adele lyrics at their cats.
The way I see it, if I can't get these skinny jeans off, nor can the rapist.
The fact that Zack Morris is now 38 is such a mind fuck...
It turns out that I can't really pull off saying "come at me bro"
I can't be the only girl who starts to question their sexual orientation when Google image stalking Mila Kunis
Just to clarify, this wine absolutely counts as one of my five glases on this juice cleanse doesn't it?
If steroids are illegal for athletes then surely photoshop should be illegal for models?
Girl on Facebook said reading Twilight on her HONEYMOON made her rerealise how good the films are. How do we stop these people reproducing?
Watching the second Sex and the City Movie... want to punch Carrie in the face as always.
"I feel like if we drink before we go out it'll be cheaper"... If you mean that we'll be cheaper then yes, I agree.
My friend just text me saying, "how weird is it that the human brain named itself" and now I'm absolutely mind-fucked.
Having to say someone's newborn is gorgeous when really you think it looks like the Voldemort foetus that came out of Harry Potter.
Just found out that IRL stands for "in real life" - I thought you were all just meeting up in Ireland.
Thought YOLO was a frozen yoghurt franchise up until this weekend. This clears up a lot.
Quoting yourself on Twitter is the second worst thing a person can do. The first is (obviously) gym-mirror selfies.
Lad in the gym wearing an "orgasm doner" tshirt. It's this sort of shit that causes obesity.
5 people found my site by googling "how much time can you get for indecent exposure". Does this make me an advocate of drunken nakedness?!
Just tried to make a joke on Facebook. Remind me not to try that again.
My freestyle rap career didn't work out, so I made a blog instead...