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Life's too short to "stir the microwave meal halfway through cooking"
Is there such thing as a cheese hangover? Because I think I've got one.
Tough times always go away, but tough people stick around.
Taking a picture of baboons at the safari park just to send to my mates with the caption 'there's you'
*NEW POST* The real mistakes you make in your twenties: http://scarletwonderland.com/the-real-mistakes-you-dont-want-to-make-in-your-twenties …
Putting 'social media guru' in your bio is an excellent way of letting everyone know you're an arsehole.
Didn't quite catch the name of someone in a meeting, so now I have to avoid them for the rest of my life.
Man at the bus stop just started a conversation with, "you should have seen the size of this rat that walked past me this morning..."
LA fitness have sent me no less than 4 emails today recommending I join up. They must know about my Monday morning chocolate-shame-spiral.
You can really taste the 'two weeks 'til payday' in this packet of microchips.
A girl should be two things, classy and fabulous. I'm neither, but I have got a large bottle of rum if you're interested.
I tend to write blog topics down on my hand when I'm drunk. This morning I woke up to 'BLOG IDEA: the time with the snakes in the basement'.
Spent the last ten minutes Googling, 'Kenan and Kel, where are they now?' Procrastination at it's finest.
If half the people I know's lives were as good as they make them out to be on Facebook, they wouldn't have to go on Facebook.
My fella is doing Movember. So in answer to your question, yes, I am seeing that creepy guy who looks like a sex offender.
Monday mornings would be much more bearable if I was an alcoholic.
In my experience, alcohol is both the cause of, and medicine for, regret.
My freestyle rap career didn't work out, so I made a blog instead...