Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair.
We live in the era of smart phones and stupid people
If there is a zombie outbreak in Vegas, does it stay in Vegas?
#1 rule in arguments: If you're losing, start correcting their grammar
"Sorry, your password must contain a capital letter, two numbers, a symbol, an inspiring message, a spell, a gang sign, & a hieroglyph"
I feel bad for kids these days that see a cool toy on tv but cant have it cause their parents have to be over 18 to order it :(
I'm not a morning person.. or a night time person.. I don't even think I'm a person
if a cop pulls you over and says, "Papers" just say, "Scissors, I win" and drive away
Making someone else smile is the best feeling
Why is there a show called When Animals Attack? It should be called When Stupid People Go Near Dangerous Animals
I unfollow back :)
Why does toilet paper NEED a commercial? Who is not buying toilet paper?
I dont think tubes of toothpaste ever run out. We just get tired of squeezing the hell out of it so we replace it
Cut my life into pizzas
you can either clean your house, or drink it pretty
Intelligence is sexy
Be kind to unkind people. They need it the most.
grammar: The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit
I prefer not to think before tweeting. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what I tweet