Ide know, right? RT @elibraden So funny watching everyone try to mine one line in a 400-year-old Shakespeare play for big laughs

@thethryll Just ask them to pronounce 1999 as "One thousand, nine hundred, ninety-nine." Yep. Feel the burn.

You can't triple stamp a double stamp!

Countdown to phone calls/numbers being a thing of the past, and only video chats, with or without video enabled, completely dominating.

I'd consider not hating kale if it wasn't pronounced like "kale."

@dana_bruno Calienté?

@dana_bruno @bazecraze UNANNOUNCED MIAMI SOUND MACHINE WEDNESDAY!

@kidfreeliving Phew. I can spare you the riveting "Plaid and You" video I circulate to the nonbelievers.

@josh_obrien I'm aware that the Western border of Montana looks like an old person's face. #cantunsee

Only @bryanwillmert will love this. Nope. Wrong. Everybody on twitter will love this: http://t.co/ivqjJCaY

Transform, damn you! http://t.co/gF2DR5sP

Good to hear @elibraden's world colliding with @howardstern this week. Safe flight, Eli. I couldn't live without your awful @rqui tunes.

@elibraden Oh my living god. You got to personally be in the middle of a Ronnie tornado. #bucketlist #nocupcake

@elibraden @howardstern Goo(d) job! #yolo

Good Lord. Another @alexjmann @someecards Editor's Pick trifecta? I quit.

Oh, stop. You're not "running around" anything. RT @clarkekant I'm the anti-Rick Astley. I do all the stuff that he will never do.

@chasemit Some standard Sacha video, if you care: http://t.co/xYUCvbEG

@shelbyfero Wait. Are you a woman? That makes you funnier. And saying something like that makes me a jackass AND desperate for attention.

You "favorite" my tweets. You follow a mayonnaise-like product. My gift to @elibraden is Mayonnaise-like marketing: http://t.co/IzXSWdLs

@thenardvark Oh, please. Just flip your tray table down after takeoff.