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"Don't taste me bro!" -The Donner Party
"Let the snowflakes hit the floor...let the snowflakes hit the floor...let the..." -Drowning Pool's Christmas Album
I saw a flashmob where everyone just "played it cool" in the library today.
Whenever someone quietly sits down next to me at the library, I like to quietly beat them up for sitting on my pet ant.
These two people at Starbucks were having a debate about religion. Then they started shouting at each other. And then, they fucked.
Someone hating on my peanut butter 'cause they gettin' jelly.
Two lions prance into a bar. One asks the bartender for a beer. The other lion then proceeds to ripping everybody's faces off. Ha.
Of the three hepatitis strains, which one is your favorite?
Oh I started playing soccer because I forgot I had hands.
I woke up from a nightmare, laughing hysterically. I'm afraid of taking naps now.
Just trying to make an honest living robbing gas stations
You're only one bad day from going insane. Similarly, you're only one good french fry away from going gay with flavor.
"Show me where on this child where that horrible man touched you." -Sandusky
Met some ASSHOLE today who thought it was okay to join our flashmob in the library today.
My contacts smell like the beer form last night. That reminds me of the time I dumped alcohol in my friend's eyes.
Today I really wanted to tell the lunch lady, "insults to the chef."
If I'm ever short on gold, I'll just melt down my BMW.
I hee-hee when cops fee me, girls pee pee when they see me, Navajos creep me from they tee-pees.
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