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You can tell when gals don't wear underpants under tight yoga pants on a hot day. You'll see flies & knats on their crack. True story.
Spilled a can of warm pork n beans all over the floor. "Fucking Harold! You shit all over again!!!" He can't see and has dementia. Moron.
Its fun to hide something up there for Harold to find when goin down on me. A tator tot, a cherry tomato. A chewed up chicken nugget.
I gotta call the gyno. Its all itchy scratchy down there. Harold has such dirty fingernails. Who knows what is under them. Fucking idiot.
one more thing. I put a dollop of vaseline in his water on the bedstand. In the morning I'll tell him he is filthy and that he came in it.
I pluck my nipple hairs and put em on the sink. Then I yell at Harold "you fucker! Clean up after yourself!"
Last time Harold stayed over he feel asleep right away. I stayed in bed and ate all his Mandarin Beef. Put the container on his side of bed.
I lost so many tampons 'up there' when I was a young gal. Sometimes for months. The guys from work called me "Catch of the Day".
This blackhead under my tit is huge. I thought it was a wood tick at first.
When Harold is going down on me I pretend he's The Hoff and he pretends I'm the salad bar at Old Country Buffet.
i like my scrotum like I like my tuna fish salad sandwich. Chilly to the touch, fishy to the smell and crunchy going in.
a few blackheads shouldnt bother you gals. Men don't wash their dicks with soap so its bound to happen.
doctor said i have an infection. no sex for a few days. should be ok to let Spunky lick peanut butter off my crotch, right?
Menopause ain't so bad. It didn't dry me out. My panties still get pretty crusty.
He is so dumb. I told him he ate it all himself when he was sleepwalking.
Harold has gypsy blood. Lots of hair. Looks like I slept with a black bear. The sheets are just full of black short and curly hairs.
