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  • Se7en2
      Se7en2 @Se7en2

    Thinking of buying my son a cell phone for the sole purpose of being able to text him to bring me another beer on the patio.

    • 14
    • FAVS
    DetroitGirl____ThrobbbNHood______orbislameehhBooBooskullcap77Vicariousauruskizayfizabeallanonmage
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    DetroitGirl_____Vaginasaurus
  • Se7en2
      Se7en2 @Se7en2

    Neighbor looked at me funny when I cracked a beer. Hey, asshole, I'm not the one mowing my lawn at 7AM! Don't judge me and I won't judge you

    • 4
    • FAVS
    ThrobbbNHood______DetroitGirl____Tr3yMoTheMostTender
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    DetroitGirl____deedeedo2Tr3yMo
  • Se7en2
      Se7en2 @Se7en2

    #FNL is in its last season and The Bachelorette is still going strong... This is why we can't have nice things, America.

    • 3
    • FAVS
    DetroitGirl____ThrobbbNHood______laura76039________
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    llkaysDetroitGirl____
  • Se7en2
      Se7en2 @Se7en2

    @sad_larry Sat outside last night for 3 hours with no big spray on. Not a single mosquito bite. Even mosquitos find me repulsive. Sad. :(

    • 3
    • FAVS
    ThrobbbNHood______GodTierEllimistSad_Larry
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    lulusgirl888Sad_Larry
  • Se7en2
      Se7en2 @Se7en2

    Time to check my tl and dm's to see how embarrassed I should be. You know, the usual Saturday morning activity...

    • 4
    • FAVS
    orbislameThrobbbNHood______BuzzinBlonde______al3l3eYRoAD
  • Se7en2
     
    Se7en2 @Se7en2

    @theleanover Well, you rocked the fuck out of the punctuation in that Tweet.

    • 3
    • FAVS
    ThrobbbNHood______lulusgirl888theleanover
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    theleanover
  • Se7en2
      Se7en2 @Se7en2

    I use this emoticon a lot ;-) Not because I'm winking, I'm just half Asian.

    • 2
    • FAVS
    ThrobbbNHood______DetroitGirl____
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    DetroitGirl____
  • Se7en2
      Se7en2 @Se7en2

    I've switched from caffeinated drinks to beer because fuck this conference call. If I'm going to be up this late, I'm going to be drunk...

    • 2
    • FAVS
    ThrobbbNHood______lulusgirl888
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    lulusgirl888
  • Se7en2
      Se7en2 @Se7en2

    RT @legslibrarian RT @oddityodyssey So who is the GOP fielding for president again? Wait, irrelevant question.

    • 1
    • FAV
    Sour481
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Sour481Librariannheels
  • Se7en2
      Se7en2 @Se7en2

    You know it's going to be a long one when you're muttering "Fuck this day" before you even step foot in the office...

    • 2
    • FAVS
    Stellacopterlaura76039________
  • Se7en2
     
    Se7en2 @Se7en2

    @cosmic_psycho @quietdaemon @winelibrarian The only option is to heed the wisdom of the Motherfucking Winelibrarian. #justsaying

    • 1
    • FAV
    Cosmic_Psycho__
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    winelibrarian
  • Se7en2
      Se7en2 @Se7en2

    "Dad doesn't look people in the eye, son. Good luck having a staring contest with him." #shitmywifesays

    • 1
    • FAV
    lulusgirl888
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    lulusgirl888
  • Se7en2
     
    Se7en2 @Se7en2

    @onanupdraft @sad_larry Never received a creepy DM from @onanupdraft. Sad. :(

    • 1
    • FAV
    TheMostTender
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    TheMostTender
  • Se7en2
      Se7en2 @Se7en2

    Anyone ever read the nutritional panel on Lunchables? How the fuck is meat, cheese and crackers that unhealthy? Holy fuck!

    • 2
    • FAVS
    ThrobbbNHood______lulusgirl888
  • Se7en2
      Se7en2 @Se7en2

    "Never get separated from your piece, that's a dil-don't"

    • 2
    • FAVS
    ThrobbbNHood______lulusgirl888
  • Se7en2
      Se7en2 @Se7en2

    Co-worker: I wake up every morning hoping my razor hits a vital artery and you're bitching about empty cans? Give me a fucking break!

    • 2
    • FAVS
    ThrobbbNHood______skankCo______
  • Se7en2
      Se7en2 @Se7en2

    Fucking drunk. Jibberish soon to follow...

    • 2
    • FAVS
    ThrobbbNHood______laura76039________
  • Se7en2
      Se7en2 @Se7en2

    Night before the rapture and @hsm_satan starts following me. Should I take that as a sign and be worried?

    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    uvmchristineHSM_Satan
  • Se7en2
      Se7en2 @Se7en2

    "Now Obama has really earned that Nobel Peace Prize." #shitmywifesays

    • 1
    • FAV
    Sour481
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Sour481
  • Se7en2
      Se7en2 @Se7en2

    The only type of good leftovers is leftover booze.

    • 1
    • FAV
    Stellacopter
@Se7en2

@Se7en2

Blah, blah, blah, something scathing and witty, blah, blah, blah.