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Hhaha @parishilton+Dave Letterman together=so funny. It's like a grandpa catching up w/ his granddaughter who has 44 stores around the world
"Happy Birthday Ellen" is trending. And for good reason. She seems like one of the most genuine, and nicest people in the world. Not kidding
Remember when Nelly wore a Band-Aid on his FACE,and we all just dealt with it for years without knowing what it meant? What was our problem?
To bring more awareness to #StopKony we should tell @foxnews.They'd accuse Kony of being Kenyan,then hunt down him AND his birth certificate
#GhettoCirocFlavors is trending. Sorry to be the one to tell you this, but any flavor of Ciroc is ghetto by default.
I get scared whenever Rick Ross is trending. You know...because obesity and heart attacks and stuff.
@nascar is the only sport that changed their logo in observance of Memorial Day. Definitely leading the pack when it comes to patriotism.
.@juliussharpe And the only way to stop someone on bath salts from chewing off people’s faces is to arm everyone in America with bath salts
The instagram diet is the one where you're so busy taking pictures of your fucking food that you don't even have time to eat it.
Hookah is to weed what O'Douls is to beer. Sure, there's flavor. And sure, you look cool. But 6 hours into it, you're still sober.
They say that soccer is the most popular sport in the world, but I'm pretty sure they meant drinking and not soccer.
FavStar is the cool kids' table in the cafeteria of the internet, where they laugh hard as fuck at you for tripping or just for being born.
@blackberryscoop Seeing BB10, I'm almost disgusted by having to hit the Home button twice to start closing apps on my 5th gen iPod touch
Unlike 9/11, 7/11 does wonders for relations between the United States and the Middle East.
Breaking Bad comes back in six days. I've never been so excited about anything in New Mexico in my entire life.
Just tweeting the truth
