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"Someone who looks an awful lot like Ashley Judd is giving out handjobs to random passers-by." #lexingtonpolicescanner
I seriously just tried to buy my tv a drink because of AJ McCarron's girlfriend.
MSU fans dress like what they think country music stars dress like.
I can imagine Jerry Jones sitting on the 50 in his pjs watching Gunsmoke re-runs on that giant damn screen. You know you can too.
"Unprovoked shark attack". What kind of maniac goes around poking sharks?
This is for the bees. RT @wwltv: Cajun crawfish invading Africa, eating native species
One day, i'll tell my grandkids how I was alive during 11:11 on 11/11/11 and they'll be all like "awesome grandpa, now put your pants on".
Just about every movie & sitcom from the 1980's could have been solved in 10 minutes if everyone had cell phones.
REMINDER: The University of South Florida beat Notre Dame last season.
Can't wait to watch Arizona State University's 9'14" quarterback throw to his hobbit best friend, ya'll.
I've never asked anything from any of you & I hoped I never would, but please help my Goddaughter: http://t.co/yPyxDsbe
Welp, that proves it: Absolutely nobody looks cool while playing Guitar Hero. #TrueBlood
Bingo. RT @punte:
I'll catch hell for saying this, but if the intent is to send everyone to college, there's no point in college. #sotu
Who knew slapping a jet engine on the back of a pickup truck would end poorly?
I think i'm going to buy Dippin Dots old equipment & start a company that sells cups of flash frozen liquor. #SippinDots
Let me sum up your Facebook timeline for you today: "OMG IT'S FALL Y'ALL! Wanna see my baby pics?"
Drinker. Roustabout. Scholar. #USF Alumnus, Booster & Ordained minister. I have a Lee Greenwood platinum record hanging in my bathroom.
