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I'm just going to get an English Bulldog instead of a boyfriend. Same progression: Starts out adorable and cuddly, turns to fat and slobbery
Whenever you think this world is total bullshit, just remember, things like "Cinnamon Toast Crunch" exist.
I like boys that run hot, cause generally I'm freezing my ass off and that way I get a space heater in my bed.
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