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OMG, google "baby alpacas". Now eat creamed corn. Next, read Popular Mechanics magazine. Just keep doing everything I say.
The secret to making vegan sausage is to grind up the vegans real good.
I'd rather not listen to my neighbors loudly fucking, but it's all I have on my iPod.
That song Cotton-Eyed Joe always gives me nightmares. His eyes are made of fucking cotton!
I've never given a Ted Talk, but I'm no stranger to Frank Discussions.
Hard to take the alphabet seriously when ten letters in it's like "JK".
I like everything on my pizza but rap and country.
If I had a time machine, I'd go waaaaay back in time and kill Hitlersaurus.
A product called Malt Liquor King Jr would sell but I definitely wouldn't tell anyone I thought of it.
Heckler destroys heckler as comedian looks on helplessly.
I'm Afraid It's Butter
*Cut to Jim Webb polishing a knife*
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