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I love dogs but what's up with these millennial dogs
OMG, google "baby alpacas". Now eat creamed corn. Next, read Popular Mechanics magazine. Just keep doing everything I say.
"How can you say men are in charge when women's situation occasionally improves here and there???"
The secret to making vegan sausage is to grind up the vegans real good.
I'd rather not listen to my neighbors loudly fucking, but it's all I have on my iPod.
That song Cotton-Eyed Joe always gives me nightmares. His eyes are made of fucking cotton!
I've never given a Ted Talk, but I'm no stranger to Frank Discussions.
Hard to take the alphabet seriously when ten letters in it's like "JK".
I like everything on my pizza but rap and country.
If I had a time machine, I'd go waaaaay back in time and kill Hitlersaurus.
A product called Malt Liquor King Jr would sell but I definitely wouldn't tell anyone I thought of it.
Comedian @surethingrecords, Host of Into The Maelstrom @RadioFreeBrooklyn, sad truth enthusiast
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