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*in a restaurant*
“can i ask why youre eating TWO large ducks?”
*turns to camera*
“Just put it on my bill”
“I’m 6 feet down to fuck” is going on my tombstone
Sex is pretty ironic i mean you're naked & looking stupid as hell while rubbing your dumb genitals together, yet you love it. Lmfao. Idiots.
Pretty fucked up you aren’t allowed customization options on babies when they’re born. Woulda invested in speed, gas & more Tires on this 1.
Welp *cracks my knuckles* time to flirt online with all these people i'm never gunna fuck.
Dear sweet abby. Abby dear. My darling, wonderful, amazingly clever Abby. Abby. Abbbbbbbby. Nice name.
Signed, Abby Name Liker.
*joins twitter & immmediately pays for favstar pro & who unfollowed me gold* i am so fuckign ready for web contentment.
Fuck marry kill: me me me.
Cum on the leaves.
*wins the lottery* haha fuck yes i know what I'M doing with this sick dough *logs into favstar fm / pro*
I smoked weed today & i am now prepared to become a 420 account.
Relationship Status: pringle.
*wakes up sexually*
I’m not a liberal or conservative. I am Let’s Read Hentai. And you have unleashed me. I will add you to my list(s).
If you get a DM from me linking to a blog of questionable nature, its not spam, im just needing some hot sexts in my inbox
My sister made me finish watching bee movie, & now she's making me download space jam, i'm not sure what i did to deserve this
I got asked to describe whataburger & i started crying, is this what a mother feels like when she describes her kids