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The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn’t have that rule when Jesus was born.
If one person has an imaginary friend, they’re crazy; if many people have the same imaginary friend, it’s religion.
10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope, and Johnny Cash. Now we have no jobs, no hope, and no cash. (reddit.com)
Celebrate Columbus Day: Walk into someone’s house & tell them you live there now.
The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence. ~Charles Bukowski
Girls want a bad boy who will be good just for her, and boys want a good girl who will be bad just for him.
Before sex, you undress each other. After sex, you only dress yourself. The moral: No one helps you once you’re fucked.
Kiss slowly, play hard, forgive quickly, take chances, give everything, and have no regrets. Life’s short… be happy.
The best Halloween costume of 2011! http://t.co/dzfe9ias (via @mikemarciano33)
There have been only 3 legendary apples: one seduced Eve, one awakened Newton, and Steve Jobs created the other one!
Don’t chase after anyone. If they really want to walk out of your life, hold the fucking door open for them.
It takes 237 muscles to fake an orgasm, but only 15 to say, “It’s called a clitoris and it’s right here.” @someecards
Celebrate Columbus Day: Walk into someone’s house & tell them you live there now.
Retweet if you’d rather be having sex, smoking a cigar, or drinking booze right now.
Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyway. ~Robert Downey Jr.
Being male is a matter of birth, being a man is a matter of age, but being a gentleman is matter of choice.
Dance like the photo’s not tagged, love like you‘ve never been unfriended, and tweet like nobody’s following.
79 million are having sex–right now. 58M are kissing. 37M are relaxing after sex. You’re reading this tweet.
We’re not alcoholics, alcoholics go to meetings; we’re boozers, boozers go to parties.
Dedicated to promoting the benefits and enjoyment of daily sex, coffee, cigars & alcohol. Sex is like air; it’s not important unless you aren’t getting any.
