What's a click? "@sgtbuttcheeks: I'll always choose a chick click over a twitter clique."

Pizza and hot wings will not cure diarrhea.

19 learned today that in a pinch silver coated candy balls work in his pellet gun.

Mutilated some people before eating them..
Watching a documentary on Black Dolphin in Russia while I get my munch on.

Me and my lover having a romantic date. pic.twitter.com/6yXRVtWYSu

Shhhhhh. Do you hear that? It's the sound of a lonely, crying clam.

Apparently I was never meant to be a plumber. I'm doing something wrong. Maybe I'm not exposing the right amount of butt crack.

I'm still at that 'lean forward and vigorously shake head' level of hair grooming for a posh event.

Anyone up for a swim? Cover breach again. Pool smells like ass  http://streamzoo.com/i/12053512 

Good start to the day today = good start to the week. Thank you Baby.

I've got to go & do a boring job in a relatively small space with a man who's disgruntled at me to say the least.

Adulthood in a nutshell..

@sgtbuttcheeks Doesn't Zoloft help with OCD?

Moms and sex talk should never be a thing. Thanks for the cup! @sgtbuttcheeks

Meow meow??? meow meow meow? MEOW!!!!!! Meow meow meow?

Sweetie the only snake in my life is the one I'm going to use on the slow drain in my bathroom today.
🐍

Lovers & best of friends

And the Oscar for Best Female lead in a fantasy goes to....

I already did a load of laundry and ran the dishwasher before 7:30. So I guess you could say I'm domesticated

I did a damn fine job of keeping my temper in check today.

'Cause red hair.

It's one of those "pass out on the couch" kinda nights.