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DON'T DRIVE DRUNK. From 6pm-6am on New Year's Eve/Day AAA will take your drunk self and your car home for FREE, member or not: 800-222-4357
This #Mizzou bball drama is like high school. Anderson left us for his ex, we scrambled for dates, now we have to take the fat chick to prom
Wow, the doctors in this porno are being SO unprofessional
So you're tellin' me Mitt Romney couldn't even create a job for himself???!
Even worse than bathroom selfies: the alone-in-your-car selfies. Rise above it, you guys.
PP-PCH, PP-PP, PP-CH.. YA GOTTA! YA GOTTA! YA GOTTA! YA GOTTA BE FRESH
Tom Brady heads home to his toasty Uggs & supermodel wife while Tebow pours a stiff Mountain Dew and ponders creationism. As it should be.
If you fell for the 'post this as your status or you'll pay for Facebook' spam, unfollow me now or you'll have to pay for Twitter.
Sasha Grey's dad must HATE the internet
I am amazed at how quickly my dog can poop in the morning without having three cups of coffee first
My TV and Internet aren't hooked up yet, so I'm watching DVD's on my laptop... Just like grandpa did during the Great Depression
Tyler Perry movies #thingsbetterthankansas
Thought I had been watching American Horror Story for half an hour... turns out it was just the GOP Debate
Without Steve Jobs there would be no fonts, Pixar, typography, graphic design, iTunes, touch screens, apps, or even digital downloads. Wild.