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The Beatles were wrong. I need more than love, I need a hard cock thrust into me regularly.
I'm aware that I will most likely go to hell, so I reserved a condo on the lake of lava and one on the mountain of fire for skiing.
Got to work too early. Should I put on makeup or rub one out in the car in the parking lot? There's no one to impress here rub one out wins.
Just because you fucked her, doesn't mean you have or are dating her. Sheesh.
Google is stalking me and rubbing it in my face. My phone just asked if I wanted to know where I parked my car...
Tonight I wanna get drunk and make bad choices
Pig tails at work, not my best idea... guys keep pulling them and I can't jump them because I'm at work.
So, I'm at work. Asleep on my feet. Too much late night thinking. I need some "stop the thoughts" pills.
I know I have a serious problem. Been 2 weeks since I got laid and I told my friend it has been a year. Had to check my sex app. Sad.
Loving that my state legalized pot. Can't wait for the feds to get over themselves.
Creepers at the laundromat today... you'd think they never saw a woman take her bra off to wash it. Sheesh.
In my city you have 2 choices for fun. Drink or fuck. And doesn't one just lead to the other anyway?
Why shouldn't a woman say, "I don't wanna love you, I just wanna get laid"?
I can't spell, am an over-sharer, am open minded. Frogs should be regarded as Gods! I very well could offend you, but it wouldn't be on purpose. I am a pervert.