Nothing says I love you like road head.

2012; the year anyone with a ph.d in mayan culture gets a tv interview.

People r not as beautiful as they look, as they walk or what they wear. People r beautiful how they're sincere, they care & how they share

A fake boyfriend will put a lock on his phone....... A real boyfriend would be like " hey baby can you read that text for me.

Single moms don't really date it's more like they allow auditions

Guys, if she's not driving you crazy she's not that into you.

If your going to be a slut be good at it. Either way they are going to talk. ;)

Last nights eyeliner & no bra on a sunday morning says my night was better then urs if ur rolling n a pressed button down and dress pants

#boyrules 12: if you cant pee in front of him you shouldnt be fucking him

That awkward moment when stuff you blocked out show up as memories and you tweet about it #ThingsThatGetYouUnfollowed

I got a new swim suit. pic.twitter.com/v7r25wV84G

My cat is so weird! He always paws my genitals- i dont stop him but i refuse to look him in the eye lol

Tattoos and chivalry a delicious combination.

Ill put up w a lot of shit but if you make unreasonable demands on me like changing my first name or wanting anal sex Im gonna say fuck u

Oops an old lady just said that's a pretty blouse... Umm its my dress pic.twitter.com/eMTwIgby

If I ever have to kill anyone I'm gonna get the tear drop tattoo on my upper inner thigh. Not everyone needs to know what their dealing with

I'm the kind of girl who thinks, "this will make mopping easier" as the dishwasher overflows all over the kitchen floor

Cheetos naming their cheetah Chester kinda creeps me out

If I were a dude I'd tbag every table I sat at ... #BALLS pic.twitter.com/oomOqIegXZ

I don't think I'm the hottest chic in SD but I know I'm the hottest one in SD wearing long johns as casual house wear pic.twitter.com/5rICzuPQ