Ooooh pork steaks on sale family pack, maybe I CAN afford 2 b lady gaga for halloween

Oh look, another neighbor kid trying to carve a pumpkin with their Wii remote.

Did we ever find out what Forrest Gump has wrong with him? Or is he just from Missouri?

I'm tired of the old version of Twitter threatening to leave me every day.

Things you don't have to do when you live alone: Explain what the second flush was for.

Be Gone Spam! Paying for followers is the equivalence of paying for sex. Ok not really but it is still very sad.

I think turtle necks were invented for public restrooms ... P and U! #roadtrip

RT @alyssa_milano: #amberalert Frantic Search for Kansas City 10 month old Infant Abducted from Crib http://t.co/jiekuqzh

I think the people on Facebook can sense that I like the people on Twitter better.

#disturbingsitcoms Dog the Booty Hunter

#howtopisswhitepeopleoff give them a 5 animal limit per house (y are hoarders always middle aged white ppl??)

Watching The Bates Family & 19 Kids & Counting I keep waiting for the Hoarders crew to show up.

It's probably in Snooki's advantage all those Jersey Shore guys look the same. "You are NOT the Father!" **Maury voice

I am! :-) RT @howardstern: help out N.S.Animal league and get a calendar as well. Good xmas gift. I took the photos. http://t.co/v9wuCLF8

There's no crying in Baseball !!! #GoCards!

RT @revrunwisdom: Go where you are adored not where you are ignored #wisdom

From little house on prarie? I don't know. RT @hiphopquestions: @shellypogue I have a question for u do you know what happen to Nelly??

OMG I almost spilled my last glass of wine into the tub. Don't act like I wouldn't drink it!

Well if you wait till your any older 2 have kids its ok u can always adopt #offensivecompliments

I love your new hair color much better the other didn't look good at all #offensivecompliments