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Wait! I never got the Portishead hoodie I ordered in '97!
Whom do I talk to about this?
Time Travel Customer Service?
Jake from State Farm?
"I thought you'd be Tigger..."
- From my Hundred Acre Woods rendition of "Road House" in which Piglet plays Dalton.
"D.C. is divided. The nation is too polarized..."
"The only way out of gridlock is to get more hops."
- Statesman Everybeermakerapparently
"Houston, we have a problem..."
"Okay, guys. Let's work the problem; how do we get hops up there?"
- Ed Everybeermakerapparently, Apollo 13
"The other team is kicking our butts! I think we might lose..."
"Looks like it's time to pile on the hops"
- Coach Everybeermakerapparently
"I cut the red wire AND the green wire! It's still ticking! WHAT DO I DO?"
"ADD MORE HOPS, NOW"
- Sgt. Everybeermakerapparently, Bomb Squad
"Sir, the world is on the verge of WWIII, unless we do something!"
"Have you tried adding more hops?"
- President Everybeermakerapparently
"DAMMIT! This kid is NOT dying on my operating table!! We need solutions!"
"Have you tried adding hops?"
- Dr. Everybeermakerapparently
I'm a squanderer... I squander time, talent, potential, opportunities, and knowledge. But I'm trying to cut back...