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When did Ryan Gosling become the president of Vaginatown?
Neat! Just noticed 'religion's also an anagram of 'complete & utter bullshit.'
Kids'll be so pissed when they realise GCSEs mean nothing.
Theo Walcott’s releasing an autobiography. Weird, 'cause my shits have more personality, but, alas, no book deal.
Weed leaf tattoos are a creative way of saying, ‘I’m a fucking dickhead!’
Starting to think 'not a morning person' & 'casual racist' aren’t great CV sentence-starters.
Missing Wimbledon* (*panting, super-cute European chicks with chunky thighs).
Don’t judge a book by its cover. Unless it features Amy Winehouse; which means it’s probably a cunty waste of space.
Anyone know who impregnated January Jones yet? Get in touch. Need to kick his ass.
Now we’ve dispensed with Osama, let’s handle this 'Danny Dyer' situation.
Really hoped I'd own a recreational golf cart by now.
Good luck getting through today without hearing an "I can’t believe it's June already."
Not being a club promoter's just one of my few qualities.
Watch Community tonight, America! It's like Big Bang Theory, only funny & creative & not total shit.
I guess my biggest fear is failure. Or having a son who's really into magic.
Idea: conserve a shit-ton of energy by not telling everyone you're 'so tired.'
What the fuck is a 'Skillrex'?