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Do you know how to tell if someone's a Certified Sommelier?
Don't worry, they'll tell you.
Osama Bin Laden signed up for Foursquare this morning, first check-in didn't work out.
I couldn't sell Cru Beaujolais so I wrote "Gluten Free" next to it on the menu. Now I can't keep it in stock.
A "Selfie" is a picture of a bottle of wine I drank by myself.
My girlfriend whispered in my ear: "Talk dirty to me"...I replied "Brettanomyces"
Love like you’ve never loved before.
Dance like you’ve never danced before.
Drink like an earthquake may destroy all your wine.
Easy wine cocktail recipe:
Fill glass with 5 ounces of wine.
I taste every bottle before I serve it. Unless you order Pinotage, then that’s all you.
Vodka by yourself = drinking problem. Wine by yourself = sharing problem
If you don't get wasted on really expensive wines before the Mayans end the world, then they win.
I nominate all of you to the spit bucket challenge. You have 24 hours.
A Master Sommelier can blind taste a wine & tell you what grape, region & vintage it is. I can do the same by reading the label.
"This should have more oak" - Said no Sommelier ever
If you only drink sparkling wines for New Year's Eve, then you will party like it's $19.99
They say leftover wines taste better the next day. I say, what's leftover wine?
Tonight would be awesome to drop a ring in a Champagne glass and deliver it to a random table.
Pinot Noir is like Lindsay Lohan, just a little too much alcohol and it gets all fucked up.