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Do you know how to tell if someone's a Certified Sommelier?
Don't worry, they'll tell you.
Osama Bin Laden signed up for Foursquare this morning, first check-in didn't work out.
I couldn't sell Cru Beaujolais so I wrote "Gluten Free" next to it on the menu. Now I can't keep it in stock.
A "Selfie" is a picture of a bottle of wine I drank by myself.
My girlfriend whispered in my ear: "Talk dirty to me"...I replied "Brettanomyces"
Easy wine cocktail recipe:
Fill glass with 5 ounces of wine.
Love like you’ve never loved before.
Dance like you’ve never danced before.
Drink like an earthquake may destroy all your wine.
Vodka by yourself = drinking problem. Wine by yourself = sharing problem
If you don't get wasted on really expensive wines before the Mayans end the world, then they win.
A Master Sommelier can blind taste a wine & tell you what grape, region & vintage it is. I can do the same by reading the label.
I taste every bottle before I serve it. Unless you order Pinotage, then that’s all you.
I nominate all of you to the spit bucket challenge. You have 24 hours.
"This should have more oak" - Said no Sommelier ever
If you only drink sparkling wines for New Year's Eve, then you will party like it's $19.99
They say leftover wines taste better the next day. I say, what's leftover wine?
Tonight would be awesome to drop a ring in a Champagne glass and deliver it to a random table.
Pinot Noir is like Lindsay Lohan, just a little too much alcohol and it gets all fucked up.