not enough holes in walls any more, not like the glory days.

You are all figments of my masturbation....

Has bi-curiosity ever killed a cat?

Is there like a patch or something for sex addicts?


That I can fuck.

WARNING: If someone knocks on your door and would like oral sex DO NOT do it, it's a scam, they just want oral sex.....

its been reported there is a pervert in my local area, I suspect me.

I can't help it if squirrels think I'm sexy.

Every time my girlfriends not working I try turning her off and then on again.

If burger king really wanted me to "have it my way" I would still be peacefully sitting naked eating my whopper instead of in this cell.

Ladies the more you cry and your make up runs the more I want this supportive hug to turn in to anal..

The first rule of Deaf club is, you don't sign about Deaf club.

Ass to mouth is not the correct way to administer CPR.

My gag reflex is awful, I just can't get the gag on them before they scream..

Good news: girlfriend is a slut in bed.

Bad news: not in my bed.

Good news: I shagged her sister.

Bad news: she only has a brother.

man at the airport asks"do you have anything hidden on your person?"I cannot stress this enough,do not say" I may have something in my arse"

I totally just forgot about dre.

I took follow Friday far too literally and all I got was this lousy restraining order....

Nothing sexier than a woman looking angry with a penis in her mouth.

Related: your mum is pissed.

If the pope shit in the woods and no one was there to hear it would the child he was raping make a sound?

The grass is always greener on the other side of your meds...