I'm old enough to remember when #drones were just male bees who serviced the queen. #thegoodolddays

I am going to try and not work any today. Except maybe placing a supply order or something. Lets see

How many days have the #Heat and #Pacers been playing game 1?

My college junior saw this in Walmart and asked 'who could possibly fit in that thing?' Lawd #iwantmymoneyback pic.twitter.com/8tokQiQhAm

Did @realdonaldtrump *really* just self-promote his show in the midst of the OK tragedy?  https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/336675355383439361 … Yes. Yes this jerk did.

#BlackIlluminati to the rescue RT @owillis Beyonce Baby Announcement Timed To Distract From Obama Scandals - freebie for fox

#RealTalk: I get pissed every time I see a tweet with the word "scandal" and it's not about my #Scandal @scandalabc #StopTeasingMe

Ted just got back his power #madmen

Lil girl's roommate came home with us for the weekend and she slept the whole 2 hours. College kids be sleepy doe.

Miss Pearl! Give her a hug! RT @owillis My Grandma celebrates her 87th birthday w/youngest family pic.twitter.com/YROF12EASg

That time where you run into your father in law at a whorehouse. And he was with a black girl. #happenstoeveryone #madmen

@owillis #Doxie  http://twitpic.com/cnfkzd 

@dvnix @honeybadgerla Stop making me go AWWWWWW! dammit

Awww you guys... Glenn Beck is trying to be relevant again. No wait, he never was. *pinches his cheeks* Sweet little thing.

*narrows eyes* Well he *was* the FIRST to comment... hmmm ---> Tamerlan Tsarnaev was an Alex Jones fan  http://www.salon.com/2013/04/23/tamerlan_tsarnaev_was_an_alex_jones_fan/ …

Tweeting at work RT @laurashezbar One question. How does everyone of you who are on twitter all day support yourselves? Seriously. LOLZ

My dogs are like "Um... we KNOW you cooked bacon, woman! WE SMELL IT! WE'RE DOGS! Ain't you gonna give us some?"

It's completely inappropriate to call myself cute. Sorry. Now if YOU wanna call me cute, I won't block you. #IJS

Dear #House and #Senate: See that cheering for #Boston First Responders? Yeah, they need that every day in every town.

Every. Single. Bit. Of. This. RT @owillis hey everyone, you dont have to RT trump. really. we're good. don't ruin the moment.