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It's like that old Scandinavian saying: you can lead a herring to water, but you have to walk really fast or it'll die.
Well I've achieved nothing today... This warrants a nap!
That's all I have from memory, it should be right, I didn't check #Nerd
I just killed a fly like Mr. Miyagi & his chop sticks, except I used my hands, and I'm not Asian... I still killed a fly with my bare hands!
Mornings... Why do you exist?
Oh how I love cool misty mornings! The only thing that would make it better is more mist.
MAY YOUR MARINARA SAUCE NEVER CLING TO YOUR POTS!!!
Nothing like hail pounding the other side of my bedroom wall to wake you up.
FUCK WALMART AND IT'S SUPID FUCKING BOTS!!!!!! #BoycottWalmart
Grilled cheese burgers and home fries! Fuck yes!!
Hello twitter, I know I've been ignoring the last couple of days... I've been cheating on you with RL... I'm sorry. Please take me back.
Twitter, why do you insist on keeping me awake when I should go to bed???
I'm a pstry chef, among other things. Warning: I retweet... and star... a lot! Don't follow me just for a follow back, I might follow you, I might not.