i believe the correct term is caucasian tonk.

Fat girl sweatfarting on a yoga mat.

I wrote a poem for a girl I dated in 1998. It's called Bitch, I Suspect You Might Be Retarded. I don't think she read it, she couldn't read.

In 2012 I'm going to be an even bigger asshole to strangers, old people, children, and the handicapped because fuck them.

Medina is a dish best served cold, and funky.

Avoid the amateurs at the bar tonight by eating a bunch of terrible acid and watching Leprechaun II at home by yourself.

Gonna open a gun shop in the hood called "Great Gats, B!"

I don't think DMX even owns any shirts. Some puffy coats, a few puffy vests, and definitely a bullet-proof vest or two, but no shirts.

I don't mind if my old lady want to have a few dong hits before she goes to work.

James is Bond, nigga. #ProtectYourNeck

If I learned anything from living in Athens GA, it's that Michael Stipe is eager to invite you back to his place to photograph your dong.

This one goes to elevenses.

We chose pieces of erotic poetry to have the other read aloud. Me to her: E.E. Cummings. Her to me: Roland JP8000 synthesizer manual.

This election coverage isn't making us tense enough. Gonna drink a bunch of coffee & do some pregnancy tests while we watch CNN.

I didn't think @bllix was really black until I watched a movie with her and she kept talking to the people on the screen.

Shit, where did you learn so much about calculus? National University of Mathghanistan?

His mom still calls him Russell Trombone.

Good 1st day at the new job. After years of audio electronics tinkering I went pro. Now I get paid to wield the soldering iron of injustice.

Americana bands of 2013 are like hair bands of 1989; something is coming soon to wipe them out. They'll be a punchline in a few months time.

I can't even consider you a real person until you've had your second existential meltdown.