Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I suffer from awesomnia.
Ok. I've tested it.
A "shitload" is about two hands full.
It doesn't matter who you are and what you did to me, if I see you crying after your dog died, I will hug you. As long as it takes.
Please don't leave me alone with my thoughts.
I'm on an all-time sigh.
Joined a street protest.
Suddenly a shot, panic and everybody started running.
3 hours and a gold medal later I realised it was a marathon
Me: "God! I hate people!"
God: "Yeah, me too."
I'm MacGyvering myself a new girlfriend.
All I need now is an empty Pringles can.
I will never have a midlife crisis.
That would interfere with my wholelife crisis.
I put "pi" in opinions because I hate onions.
This fucking skinhead broke in here again, rammed and destroyed all of my interior and then puked all over the place. Goddammit. - vaginas
Don't be afraid.
Come on, follow me.
I won't use any big words.
My girlfriend's superpower is invisibility.
<--- I'm not angry, just german.
If a tree falls in the woods and there is no one but me around to hear it, because I hung myself on it, does it mean I'm fat? :(
Ok. 0 Followers. Time to fuck my way up to the top.
Due to my country's history and how it has scarred the world, you might forgive me that there is one subject I won't joke about. Lederhosen.
First Twitter law:
Write what you like!
Can you tell from my Tweets that I'm dead inside?
Sometimes a huge dick is definitely a pain in the ass... for someone else
People don't taste like chicken... Pet me. I won't bite.