I was wondering maybe, if I could make you my baby.

LAST DAY OF WORK DONE!!! My teammate :) http://t.co/izDSZdfN

Spending $20 to see Ted in Times Square. Already been one fight in the theatre haha. Later!

Dot be afraid, shake yo tootsie roll, nobody here to see you fool.

@aspersioncast you're my fave. Mourning my loss.

@13spencer that was a really good one. Props.

My cat has no reason to not marry me. We are in love. Besides, I'm not crazy.

All I want to do is rage with online halo and pizza for a couple hours.

Listening to loud music in a Prius is like using audiophile head phones.

I feel like there should be a mutual agreement for my exes to delete my number after we break up. This ish STILL ridiculish.

Good night buttercups.

@avocadoe ah, alas it seems you are far from learning enough.

“@13spencer: I've been called crazy by too many people for all of them to be wrong.” never deny it.

@adamochoa cuz when I leave for the litter box I ain't comin, back.

@bedroombazooka no no no, it's all about the stance.

It's cool that you don't have friends, I don't have friends either.

#ReplaceTitlesWithTampons The Hills Have Tampons.

#ReplaceTitlesWithTampons Slum Dog Tampon.

I really need to delete twitter but I need it to find strangers in NY to hang out with soo

@pushinghoops don't, accommodating dumb people only encourages them...